Sergei Belski-USA TODAY Sports
Three Stars of Comedy
If recent history is any indication, I look forward to Phil reading this, having a good laugh, waiting a few years and then absolutely ethering Kovalchuk while pretending he doesn't realize he's doing it.
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Things OK, Matt? Blink twice is you want Garth Snow to lower a rope ladder from a helicopter.
Outrage of the Week
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"… and since I've been running this league since 1993, I take full responsibility for that."See? It works! I'm telling you, we're on to something here.More importantly, a word about Calgary fans.Yes, we all know that Bettman and the Flames are full of it, that public funds for arenas are almost always a bad idea, and that this is all a big act that will end in some sort of deal eventually. It's easy to watch all of this unfold from the outside with a "been there, done that" weariness.But it's different when it's your team. Even if the odds of all this being forgotten in a few years is 98%, that 2% chance that it could all somehow go horribly wrong and wind up with Johnny Gaudreau leading the Seattle Space Needles onto the ice for the 2019 season opener is a pretty traumatic thought for diehard fans to process.So if you see some Flames fan freaking out over the next few days and weeks, maybe resist the temptation to tut-tut them about the realities of municipal economics. They don't need that right now. Instead, just tell them it's going to be OK, agree that none of this is fun, and give them the same support you'd want if it was your team being threatened with relocation because a billionaire had a tantrum.
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Obscure Former Player of the Week
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Be It Resolved
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Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown
- It's December 4, 1988, and the Oilers are in town to play the Rangers. It's the first intermission, and the Oilers are up 4-2. Spoiler alert: They're going to end up winning by a 10-6 final. The 1980s NHL, man. It was something.
- Our host is John Davidson, reclaiming his title as "guy who shows up a little too often in this section" from Alan Thicke. He's interviewing the Oilers' new captain, Mark Messier.
- I'll pause here so you can all adjust to remembering Messier with hair.
- Davidson does a good job of setting the scene. The Oilers are making their first trip to New York since trading Wayne Gretzky, and Messier has inherited the unenviable task of following in the footsteps of a legend as the team's new captain. Davidson then asks the question on all our minds: "Mark, what's that thing on your lip?"
- Wait, no, he goes with whether his role has changed. I guess that works too.
- As Messier is talking about the importance of leadership, the graphics guy throws up a quick stat about how well he does in games involving the Rangers. This moment has been brought to you by the Department Of Ironic Foreshadowing.
- In a stunning upset, Messier doesn't just mumble something about keeping it simple and playing his game, instead acknowledging that something has indeed changed. They don't call him the greatest leader in sports for nothing. ("They" being New York fans with Adam Graves neck tattoos.)
- "Lee Fogolin, everybody knows what kind of dedication he gave to the game." Fact check: Mostly false.
- Davidson asks whether the Oilers are over the shock of the Gretzky trade, and Messier explains that "fortunately it happened early enough in the summer that the guys were able to get over the initial shock." He then starts to laugh and adds "I mean, it's not like he held out and forced the trade two days into the regular season like some kind of jerk."
- Davidson actually does get to a question about Messier's lip, and to our great relief it turns out to be stitches from Tim Hunter. Davidson asks what he thinks of all the suspensions being handed out these days, and Messier reacts by making the same face my daughter makes when I ask if she's done her homework.
- Look, let's just get this out there: Messier could be a dirty player. He'd swing his stick, he'd throw elbows, he'd hit from behind. Or, as we all called it back then, "hockey."
- Davidson goes back to Messier's most recent suspension for knocking Rich Sutter's teeth out. (You can see that play about a minute into this clip.) As Davidson explains, back then every suspension went through one guy who was responsible for everything. Man, they should really have more than one person doing player safety. Like, maybe an entire department. I'm sure nobody would complain then.
- Messier mentions a 12-game suspension from earlier that season. That would be New York's David Shaw, who barely did anything other than slash Mario Lemieux in the throat. Good ol' Mess, already preemptively defending the Rangers.
- I think my favorite part of this whole interview comes right at the end, when Davidson wraps up and Messier literally manages to say the complete sentence "Thank you very much" in one syllable. That's a guy who's done a lot of interviews.
- And that's it. We're left to dwell on Messier's basic point: suspensions are already severe enough, the players are getting the message, and we should be fine to make it through the rest of the 1988-89 season without anyone doing anything completely insane.