Let's Check in On Lou Holtz at the RNC, Shall We?

Lou Holtz on immigrants: "I don't want to celebrate your holidays, I sure as hell don't want to cheer for your soccer team"
— Betsy Woodruff (@woodruffbets) July 19, 2016

Whoa! Lou! I know you were walking around with a jug of Crown Royal earlier, but maybe wait until you get back to the hotel before you start mainlining the stuff. Because if you do that sort of thing in public you might start saying some crazy shit about immigrant holidays and soccer. Like Holtz just did when speaking at a luncheon hosted by the Republican National Coalition for Life.

According to the Daily Beast, Holtz said the "invasion" of immigrants coming into the United States needed to learn to speak English, just like his grandparents did when they immigrated to the U.S. from Ukraine. Immigrants need to "become us" Holtz added.

"I don't want to become you," he continued, according to the report. "I don't want to speak your language, I don't want to celebrate your holidays, I sure as hell don't want to cheer for your soccer team!"

It's been a hallmark of Trump's campaign that budget sports celebrities and D-Listers like goddamned Chachi are what pass for VIPs, and the former Notre Dame coach is right in that sweet spot.

Holtz is in another key Trump demographic: angry old white guy. Imagine saying to a reporter on the record and in public that you don't want to celebrate a holiday? Holidays are fun, even saying the word "holiday" is a pleasurable experience; it has a certain lilt to it. Lou Holtz is so pissed off at the world he doesn't want to celebrate holidays literally no one is forcing him to celebrate and that are usually not much different than whatever holidays he does want to celebrate. And this is the funny thing about this campaign and the largely white baby boomers who support it: while they usually complain about young kids not taking responsibility like they do, everything that is bad in their lives is someone else's fault. Like, say, immigrants. So get 'em out, and sure as shit don't make me celebrate…Boxing Day? That's how you can be a salty old crank who complains about every single thing in the country—"I don't want to cheer for your soccer team" is some shit an actual baby would say—and still call yourself a patriot.

Oh, and that bottle of Crown? Technically an immigrant.