Stephen A. Smith is So Bummed with Kanye, He Can't Even Form a Hot Take
The ESPN anchor is locked and loaded with a hot take for just about anything. Maybe this is the only thing that could possibly leave him slack-jawed.
Wikimedia Commons / Photo by Michael Reynolds—EPA
Alright, Universe, we get it. We're in a simulation. And it's a cruel, torturous one. But things have gotten to the point where even the simulation is breaking. Don't believe me? Just look to the breakdown of one of the stalwart truths of this "reality" in which we exist: Stephen A. Smith always has a hot take.
The latest incident cooked up by the simulation, which has surely turned your timeline sour in the past few hours, is that not only Kid Rock, but Kanye West paid a visit to the White House to see their buddy Donald Trump.
Trump was signing some legislation that changes how licensing works and how musicians are compensated, and so he decided to do the only thing he knows how to do: assemble the few famous people who agree with him in one place to rally behind him as an image boost.
Among them was demagogue and sometimes-music maker Kanye West, who gained notoriety by supporting Trump's racist presidency this past year. West declared his love of Trump back in April, and recently started wearing a MAGA hat that he once paired with, befuddlingly, a Colin Kaepernick sweatshirt.
West continued to wear his MAGA hat during his appearance on Saturday Night Live two weeks ago, and even went on a post-air rant to promote Trump. Coming from the dude who once went rogue on a live show to say that George Bush doesn't care about black people, this has all been a pretty shocking development. But just exactly how jarring is this to the world?
So much so that Stephen A Smith can't even muster the energy to have a hot take on it:
Yup, things are so fucked up right now, that they somehow managed to stop the only thing we've come to know as unstoppable: the Stephen A Smith hot take machine. Kanye has so thoroughly bummed out Smith—who once went on a rant about NBA player effort during an All-Star Game—that Smith decided he's just going to sit this one out. The man who dead-eyed jabbers on about any polemic sports take with octave-jumping incredulity was all of a sudden silenced. But he wasn't just silenced, friends. No, he actually wants to outsource his hot takes to the populace. Please, I don't have the strength anymore, please do this for me, in my hour of need.
So, yeah, that's unsettling. But if there is silver lining to these most illogical of times, it is this bit of Back to the Future-istic logic: If you were to tell anyone four years ago that the one thing that will stop Stephen A. Smith from coming up with a molten-lava take, surely the only thing you could have possibly said is "Kanye West is visiting Donald Trump in the White House, where Trump lives, because he is the President of the United States of America." It's the only way any of this makes sense. Donald Trump is Biff moving in on Marty's mom, and Stephen A. Smith's takes are Marty's family as he knows it: slowly disappearing.