Three Amazing Stories from the Darius Miles Players' Tribune Piece

Darius Miles may have dropped off the map, but he wants you to know he's doing just fine. Miles's rise from high school straight to the NBA in 2000 and then his sharp decline into bankruptcy in 2016 almost perfectly follows the tragic arc of young stardom, but boy does Miles have some stories to tell from his journey.

Miles wrote for the Players' Tribune in an effort to try and clear up a lot of misconceptions about where he went as well as his use of money, and it's a story that's riveting. He talks about growing up in a violent 89-block area of East St. Louis, making it to the NBA without going to college, spending money fast and loose, then feeling a hard crash when he blew his knee at 27 years old and after his mother died.

The story—hilariously guest edited by Miles's long time friend and fellow Clippers teammate Quentin Richardson—at times makes for a heartbreaking view into young stardom and the horrifying nature of never being able to escape growing up around poverty and violence. But perhaps what this sprawling 6,500-word opus will be best remembered for is its moments of sheer comedy.

We broke down some of the best anecdotes.

When you're a young player, it's always the moments with The Greats that'll stick with you. Miles talks a lot about how Michael Jordan played an influential role in his young career—Miles took Jordan on at his camp in Chicago and obviously got wrecked. He also talks about how MJ incredulously swooped in on And1's courtship of Miles and Richardson to fit them with Jordans instead.

And while that's pretty fun, one certain Laker's cameo takes the cake during Miles's Clippers days:

Apparently, Shaq made him late for practice—pretty good gamesmanship if you ask me.

The other hilarious parts of Miles's Players' Tribune piece involve him being way too young to do adult things. Apparently, when he was 13, he was playing ball with 30-year-olds to give him some real competition. After his team won the championship, his team asked his mom if they could take him to the strip club. And apparently, when he eventually got to the NBA at the age of 18, he had to find an alternative to going out drinking:

It's just amazing to think that NBA players were out scouting for prom dates at the local high schools. Not to mention the fact that Miles and Richardson were also there to watch Trevor Ariza, Hassan Adams, and Bobby Brown, who all played for Westchester. According to Miles, he and Richardson's patented double fist tap to the head was a way of shouting out those players.

The other amazing story from Miles is the time that Alonzo Mourning lent him and Richardson some WaveRunners during the legendary Zo's Summer Groove. Miles was messing around when he ended up hitting a boat close to Mourning's place:

I dare you to find me a better jet ski story than that. At least one that's better told. Ah, to be a wallflower for Darius Miles's youth.

While Miles's NBA career may be long gone, his storytelling career should just be taking off. Because that man can sure spin a yarn. But one thing's for sure: If he starts a circuit, he should definitely make sure to bring Quentin Richardson along with him.