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Sports

The Inspiring Story of Markieff Morris, His Wife, and His Giant Nuts

"My wife tells me all the time I've got big nuts," the Washington Wizards forward said. "I put my nuts on the line tonight."

Markieff Morris on his clutch FTs: "My wife tells me all the time I've got big nuts. I put my nuts on the line tonight." #Wizards pic.twitter.com/U84IEvIiVs
— Locked On Wizards (@lockedonwizards) March 1, 2017

The Golden State Warriors lost Kevin Durant Tuesday night, and they also lost to the Washington Wizards. There was a chance the Warriors could have won it, what with Steph Curry having the ball in his hands and firing away from beyond the arc with less than ten seconds left. Had it gone in, it would have given the Warriors a 111-110 lead with less than five seconds to play. It did not go in; instead Markieff Morris wound up with the rebound and was fouled, so he had a chance to put the game away with a pair of free throws.

Morris is a decent shooter from the line, hitting 81 percent of his free passes, but these were pretty crucial shots, so he needed to reach down deep to focus. That led him to his, evidently, enormous balls. Just once I want to say, "My wife tells me all the time I've got big nuts," and really mean it, you know? We should all find ourselves in relationship where are significant other goes on and on and on about the relative size of our reproductive glands.