Mike Francesa Joined Twitter in the Most Absurd Way

Only New York's Number One could turn joining Twitter into an event.

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May 18 2018, 6:00pm

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I don't, really, although I think there was some drunken live-tweeting (I don't think that verb technically existed yet, but I digress) of Rocky, and possibly Rocky II. Anyway, point is, joining Twitter is not, strictly speaking, a thing. You pick a handle, enter your email address, waive all kinds of rights, and boom, you are on Twitter. It's like, two minutes of your life, tops. Unless you are Mike Francesa.

Mike retired from the New York radio waves last December and then just recently un-retired and returned to his WFAN stomping grounds with promises of a truly game-changing experience for his fans: he's gonna have an app. And, uh, some other stuff.

He's not quite sprinting into the 21st century, but he is making an effort to inject some youth into his brand and he finally acquiesced to modernity and announced (Tuesday) that he would be joining Twitter (today).

The Twitter account associated with Mike's radio show, which he does not run, also started teasing it:

This was followed by a brief post on wfan.com this morning that read as follows:

Earlier this week Mike Francesa announced that he would be launching his own personal Twitter account Friday.

That day has arrived, and we now know that Francesa's handle is @MikeFrancesa.

He will commemorate the occasion by sending out his first Tweet at some point in the 1pm ET hour, and you can catch Mike's On today, 3pm - 6:30pm ET.

He will commemorate the occasion by sending out his first Tweet at some point in the 1pm ET hour. Please bathe in the sheer absurdity of that sentence, let it rush over you like the Hells Canyon rapids. There will be a ceremonial keystone embedded into his banner image. Someone will break a bottle of champagne against his smartphone. I personally have engraved "Mike tweeted" on a grain of rice.

I mean, c'mon:

Almost time! Three lightning bolts!

But why stop at a nearly week-long online campaign to "commemorate" joining a garbage social media platform—one that, against all odds, is actually worse than the cesspool medium Francesa works in—why not make the rounds on the morning television circuit. Uh, yes Kelly and Ryan, I, uhhh, I am announcin' that I will be joinin' Twittuh on Friday. Fuck it, let's get a parade down the Canyon of Heroes. Ticker tape, drunk Yankees fans, the whole bit.

The only problem with this strategy is: what if the anticipation makes it so that the first tweet can never live up to the hype? After four days of waiting, can Mike deliver the goods?

You bet your ass he can.