CSU's Larry Eustachy Overcomes Emotionally Abusing His Players to Win Coach of the Year

Congratulations, Larry Eustachy! You've been named Mountain West Conference Coach of the Year. And given your long and distinguished record as men's basketball coach at Colorado State University, it's hardly a surprise. Let's look back at the highlights:

* Emotionally abusing your players and creating "a culture of fear and intimidation" through behavior that you called "way over the line."

* Picking up two technical fouls and being ejected from a loss to UTEP, after which Mountain West commissioner Craig Thompson left a voicemail for your athletic director stating, "The conference has no leash left for Larry … in fact, he may not even have a collar."

* Punching and breaking dry erase boards in locker rooms and throwing unopened soda cans against walls.

* Throwing a chair and punting a basketball in closed practices.

* Calling your players "fucking cunts."

* Receiving a letter from your own athletic department—which is to say, they cared and/or were lawyered-up enough to put it in writing—stating that you were no longer allowed to be alone with your team and were required to have the school's athletic director or a member of his staff present with you at practices, meetings, and games, including in the locker room.

* Prompting a school mental health services employee who worked with your players to call you a "rage-aholic" and state that "if you dropped a camera inside the basketball program at CSU, you'd see Rutgers"—a reference to former Rutgers basketball coach Mike Rice, who was fired in 2013 after video surfaced of him hitting, kicking, and using profanity and gay slurs against his players.

Oh, wait. Our bad. Those aren't your coaching highlights. They're from a 2013-14 university investigation of your behavior as coach, a 99-day probe that included interviews with 14 players and basketball and athletic department staff members, produced a 90-page report, and led your former athletic director to recommend that you be fired.

Of course, you weren't fired. Instead, university president Tony Frank put you on a personal improvement plan, giving you a second chance at Colorado State—unlike the seven scholarship players, five of them starters, who reportedly have transferred out of the program during your tenure. And what a decision: you're currently 108-58 at the school, with one whole NCAA tournament appearance under your belt.

Sure, maybe a few fucking cunts had to duck to avoid flying chairs and thrown soda cans, but look at all that winning. COACH OF THE YEAR! Let's check in with human hockey meme cum heartbeat of college basketball Dan Dakich to see what we can learn from your inspirational journey:

Tough Love wins — Dan Dakich (@dandakich)March 7, 2017

College sports: where the health, education, and emotional well-being of student-athletes comes first.