What the Hell is Phil Jackson Talking About in this Tweet?

Phil Jackson, erstwhile president of the New York Knicks, tweeted today for the first time in 2017.

This matters only because the habitually absent Jackson has weaned himself off other forms of public communication to such a degree that, as Andrew Keh of the New York Times wrote last year, Twitter is often the only direct portal we have into his mind.

And, if today's dispatch in any indication, there's a lot going on upstairs, each bit a tad less discernible than the last.

Let's begin with the text in question:

Bleacher's Ding almost rings the bell, but I learned you don't change the spot on a leopard with Michael Graham in my CBA daze.
— Phil Jackson (@PhilJackson11) February 7, 2017

The first line is easy enough. "Bleacher's Ding" is Kevin Ding of Bleacher Report, who dropped a story this afternoon about how Carmelo Anthony cannot be a centrifugal force for a Jackson dynasty the way Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant once were. "Almost rings the bell," of course, is Phil's attempt at crafting a wry piece of shade. You can imagine his bearded mouth creasing in self-satisfaction at both the pun and the efficiency of doing so much in five words. Very crisp. Very zen.

The spot on the leopard? This, presumably, is Anthony, whom Ding critiqued for being too obstinate about playing his way to conform to a team. So, Phil's deflecting, a smart strategy that wouldn't mean a whole bunch were it not for the simmering talk that Phil already deployed a different media member—longtime friend Charley Rosen—to pen something of a hit piece about Anthony for mostly the same reasons that Ding wrote about today.

(Why leopard, tho? Couldn't this be a tiger-and-stripes metaphor? Does Phil Jackson believe that Kobe and Michael have the eye of the tiger but Melo runs from responsibility and he really wishes he were a lion but he couldn't go that route because lions have no identifying patterns on their coats?)

We press on. Michael Graham. Is he…

A. A conservative talk show hack with an unnerving stock photo?

B. A Salon and Spa owner in Naperville, Ill.?

C. A Brandywine, Mar. restaurateur and former lottery winner?

The answer is most likely C., because once upon a time, that Michael Graham also played Anthony Mason to the Georgetown-era Patrick Ewing. He eventually flamed out of basketball following a last chance, 11-game stint with the Continental Basketball Association's Albany Patroons. The Patroons' head coach at the time? Phil Jackson.

And as Alan Siegel detailed for the Washingtonian, the two clashed over Graham's eagerness to be a scorer when he should have been a rebounder.

As for daze, Phil may be high or he may have been high in the CBA or he may just be using hippy jargon instead of spelling the word out like a normal person, because that's almost as on-brand for Phil Jackson these days as mismanaging the New York Knicks.

So, as best we can tell, Phil Jackson is saying that Kevin Ding was off the mark because he once tried to change Michael Graham and that ended miserably.

Or, Phil likes puns and jungle cats and the collective bargaining agreement and using peyote on company time.

Either/or.