Brett Kavanaugh's Calendar Shows His Teams Took a Lot of Ls

Donald Trump's Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh has had to replay his wretched high school years in an attempt to disprove accusations of sexual assault. Dr. Christine Blasey Ford accused Kavanaugh of pinning her to a bed, groping her, and trying to remove her clothes at a 1982 house party—an account corroborated by four people—and now Kavanaugh is trying to find an alibi to claim he wasn't at the party.

So Kavanaugh did what any normal person would do when trying to disprove accusations of sexual assault: he produced his calendar from the summer of 1982, which he still has, so that you can see that he did not commit any potential crimes. Kavanaugh's lawyers submitted months May through August of that year to the Senate Judiciary Committee as evidence that Kavanaugh did not attend the party. Despite the fact that providing a teenager's calendar is pretty shaky evidence—are we to believe that things included on the calendar are literally the ONLY things Brett Kavanaugh did in the summer of 1982?—the document is surprisingly detailed, including notes about going to friends' houses, seeing movies (Rocky III and Poltergeist make cameos, to give you a timeframe), and yes, sporting events.

Kavanaugh played both football and basketball, and it seems like he took time out to watch some professional sports as well. Kavanaugh details heading to the NBA playoffs to watch the now-renamed Washington Bullets play the Boston Celtics. He also attended a then-high profile and a now-defunct PGA tournament, known as the Kemper Open (later renamed the Booz Allen Classic), for a little golf viewing with his pops at the Congressional Country Club in Bethesda, Maryland.

If there's one conclusion to come away with from all of this, it's that Kavanaugh is the anti-King Midas of sports. Everything he touched turned to ash.

First up, we've got the Bullets and Celtics in the Eastern Conference Semifinals. Kavanaugh documents the final two games of the series—both Washington losses—and attended at least one, Game 4, which went to overtime. In that game, Kavanaugh saw, in person, one of the greatest players of a generation in Larry Bird, muster a paltry 10 points in 34 minutes (Bird averaged almost 23 points per game that season). But fellow legends Robert Parish and Kevin McHale carried the load, netting 28 and 25 points, respectively, to eke out a win against the future jurist's hometown squad. It's unlikely Kavanaugh was at Game 5, since it was played in Boston, but he did mark it down on the calendar—another loss, this time in double OT.

When it came to his own games, he chalked up a total of eight losses in around a month and a half. Brett hit a slump. And while it's unclear who Kavanaugh was pulling for at the Kemper Open, fan favorite Fred Couples won the 1983 Kemper, one year after Kavanaugh attended.

We'd be remiss if we did not note that one of his initial controversies, waaaaaay back in early days of his nomination, centered around Kavanaugh having reporting somewhere between $60,000 and $200,000 in credit card and personal loan debt related to baseball ticket purchases for him and a "handful" of his friends, specifically Washington Nationals tickets, that he said his friends paid off. In the course of questioning on this matter, he also did note this, fastidious as ever:

With a day of testimony from Dr. Ford and himself scheduled for tomorrow, and a vote on his fitness to be presented to the full senate for confirmation scheduled for Friday, here's to hoping he takes another couple Ls.