Quantcast

A-Rod Texted J-Lo 'You Look Sexy AF' During Their First Date

The former Yankees legend is a legend off the field, too.

Sean Newell

When he tells you "you look sexy AF." Photo by Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

[Reads Vanity Fair profile on the unstoppable romance between Alexander Emmanuel Rodriguez and Jennifer Lynn Lopez]

[Passes out from sheer, unadulterated delight]

[Wakes up four hours later]

Ho-ly shit, you guys! This profile! There is so much going on in this little ditty about True Love, redemption, and celebrity, but by far the best bit is the couple's joint story of their first date. Neither was quite sure it was date or not, A-Rod was a veritable chatty Kathy, and he won Jennifer Lopez over with a text a teenager would send. Please, read this all:

Before we get to that tap, we talk about their first date, when they met for dinner at the Hotel Bel Air. "He was sitting there in his white shirt, very confident and manly, but then he was just so talkative!" she says. "I think he thought I was going to be this loud person, but I'm not. I just listen. So he's talking, talking about his plans, about how he had just retired from baseball, about how he saw himself getting married again, all these things you wouldn't normally talk about on a first date. I don't know if he thought it was a date. I thought it was a date. Then I knew he was nervous because he asked me if I wanted a drink. I said, 'No, I don't drink,' and he asked if I minded if he had one. He was nervous, and it was really cute."

"I didn't know if it was a date," Rodriguez says. "Maybe we were seeing each other at night because of her work schedule. I went in uneasy, not knowing her situation."

He continues: "It would be incredibly productive for me to sit with one of the smartest, greatest women in the world, especially for a guy like me who is coming through tough times, rehabbing himself, re-establishing himself to folks out there. I thought it would be a win-win no matter what."

Then: "She told me around the third or fourth inning that she was single," he says. "I had to get up and go re-adjust my thoughts. I went to the bathroom and got enough courage to send her a text."

"So I'm sitting there and he's walking back, and I get a text," Lopez continues. "It says . . . " She looks significantly at Rodriguez. "You can tell her!" he says. " 'You look sexy AF,' " she tells me. They both laugh. "And then it took a turn," Lopez says. "The fire alarm went off, and we had to evacuate." I laugh, thinking she's being metaphorical. "No, really," she says. "The fire alarm went off!"

OK, so let's break this down a little bit. First, A-Rod was just chatting up a storm and boozing because he's nervous—stars, they're just like us! Second, the Peak On Brand A-Rod detour into "incredibly productive" outings with J-Lo. Third, the similarly Peak On Brand use of baseball analogies. I am surprised he didn't say he had to step out of the batter's box when he told the story about getting up to go collect himself in the bathroom.

And I am absolutely thunderstruck that Alex Rodriguez won over Jennifer Lopez by texting her "You look sexy AF" from a hotel bathroom. Flabbergasted. It is like a Cyrano de Bergerac moment for the modern age. Also, look how cute they are telling the story about it now. You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don't take, kids.

Last but not least, in fact most importantly—they set the goddamn Hotel Bel Air on fire with their burgeoning love!