Sepp Blatter Says 2022 World Cup Was "Agreed" to Be in U.S., Among Other Stuff

For some reason, suspended FIFA President Sepp Blatter thought it was a good idea to conduct an interview with Russian news outlet TASS. Dutifully, his interviewers handed Blatter a shovel with which to dig himself an even larger hole.

Here are some of the main takeaways, but really you should read the whole thing, as it's a pretty revealing window into Blatter's pretzel-like logic.

1. The 2022 World Cup was "agreed" to be in the U.S., whatever that means.

That is, until former French President Nicolas Sarkozy brought the current ruler of Qatar, Tamim bin Hamad Al Thani, to a meeting with Blatter and was like, Yo, let's have it in Qatar instead. From Blatter's mouth:

Whether true or not, Blatter demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding of how voting works. Traditionally, you don't agree on the results beforehand.

2. In two successive answers, Blatter directly contradicts himself about FIFA's basic mission.

In a rambling response to a question about his relationship with Michel Platini, Blatter said, "But you cannot destroy FIFA. FIFA is not the Swiss bank. FIFA is not a commercial company." In the very next question, again about his relationship with Platini, Blatter said, "Since I became president of FIFA, we have made FIFA a big commercial company."

Again, because this is hilarious, let's be clear: within a span of, like, a minute, Blatter said, "FIFA is not a commercial company" and "We have made FIFA a big commercial company."

3. Sepp Blatter doesn't get contracts.

His explanation regarding Platini's payment, and the cause of his suspension, is muddled at best. Basically, Blatter says he promised Platini money that FIFA didn't have at the time, and Platini could just bill him later, when he felt like it (a classic business arrangement). Then, one day, miraculously, Platini felt like getting paid. Due to Blatter's overwhelming sense of honor and duty, he paid Platini. Blatter says there was an invoice and a contract. Except there wasn't.

4. Sepp Blatter fully supports Vladimir Putin "in all situations."

Bold.

[TASS]