NFL Dos and Don'ts: Indianapolis Colts

_We're going to be looking forward to the NFL season by looking back at last season and highlighting the things a professional football team should do, and the things a professional football team should not do. _Welcome to NFL Dos and Don'ts. If you missed one, you can read all our recaps right here.__

Do

We're jumping right into the action because this one is too good to dilly-dally around with. The Colts won a game—it doesn't matter when, it doesn't matter who, it only matters that Sergio Brown did an entire Ric Flair promo afterwards like a goddamned boss.

#ColtsNation Sergio Brown sums up the feeling in the locker room #CINvsINDhttps://t.co/FQR2upiJNC
— Indianapolis Colts (@Colts) January 4, 2015

Always do this. Do this every single day of your life and just let the joy and irreverence ooze over you like a soothing balm. I would watch a reality show that was just athletes trying to nail famous wrestling promos. It would be like the Ultimate Fighter or whatever, but purely mic skills. I want to see a guy struggle to get the whole script down—"Rolex wearin', kiss stealin' … Shit! Let me start over"—so I can get emotionally invested and then trulyexcited when he pulls it off. If you can get your whole team in on the deal like Brown did here, all the better.

Don't

This Don't is as bad as that Do is good. It should be noted that the salty-ass Colts are responsible for the whole DeflateGate nonsense in the first place, after getting trounced by the Patriots and, coincidentally, after the season they took the bold move of hanging a "AFC Finalist" banner in their stadium. I don't want to get too "EVERYONE ALWAYS GETS A TROPHY THESE DAYS," but this is embarrassing, Colts.

I spy a new #Colts banner inside @LucasOilStadium. We're live from mini-camp beginning 4p #TheNowIndy on @rtv6 pic.twitter.com/wLDkp4YOSE
— Dave Furst (@DaveFurst) June 10, 2015

Before we even get to the incredibly sad AFC Participation Banner, who gives a shit about winning the AFC South? Good job, guys. You won your garbage division. You were "champions" of a division with the Titans, the Jaguars, and the Texans, who won a combined 13 games that year. You won 11 games. We're all real proud of you.

Somehow the Colts managed to do something even worse, though: a banner for a game they lost. And they didn't just lose it, they got beat 45-7. Forty-five to seven. I am almost certain that Jim Irsay, coked out of his mind and on a steady diet of Tequila Sunrises, cooked this one up in a hallucinated conversation with David Lee Roth.

Irsay: Hey, what if we throw up a banner so all our fans can revel in the glory of having played a game in name only?

Roth: Skibbity bop!

Irsay: Good, it's settled.