Zlatan Scores Crazy Goal With Freakish Torso, Stops Game at Tenth Minute For Standing Ovation

Zlatan is saying goodbye to Ligue 1 today, and wanted to make sure you acknowledged it. So what does Zlatan do to celebrate? Zlatan demands that time freezes at the 10th minute—10 happens to be Zlatan's number—, causing all players to stop, and receives a standing ovation graciously. Zlatan is pleased.

PSG v Nantes game is stopped after 10 minutes to give Zlatan Ibrahimovic a standing ovation…https://t.co/IpIPaJJREk
— The Football Pools (@footballpools) May 14, 2016

To add some garnish on the occasion, Zlatan wanted to make sure you didn't forget that Zlatan was nearly invincible, so Zlatan decided to score a goal with a body part with which no mere mortals have ever scored.

Sure, you could say that Clint Dempsey has scored that way, along with countless other players, but Zlatan would have you believe that Zlatan is the one and only. And because it's the birthday party of Zlatan's goodbye to french football (there are no going away parties for Zlatan—only birthday parties of goodbyes), you will believe.

UPDATE:

No, Zlatan was not done with you. Zlatan was simply saving the best for last: an 89th minute goal to put Zlatan at a Ligue 1 record for most goals scored in a single season—a whopping 38 for the year. The previous record was held by Carlos Bianchi in 1978—a mere 38 years later. (Zlatan wanted to leave Zlatan fans with a neat number for you to remember Zlatan by.) Zlatan would like to pretend that Zlatan likes to go out on top. But Zlatan has been on top for so long, that Zlatan doesn't understand that going lower is an option. Zlatan has always been on top.

Also, yes. Zlatan's kids do know how great Zlatan is, thank you very much.

Most children of footballers have "Daddy" on the back of their shirts, but Zlatan's kids… pic.twitter.com/CXn10ruysR
— Brooks Peck (@BrooksDT) May 14, 2016