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Let's Fix the Tampa Bay Lightning

The heavily favored Lightning have dropped two home games to the Washington Capitals, but here are five easy ways to turn the series around.
Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Through two games of the Eastern Conference final, one team has plummeted into a 2-0 series hole by starting slow, struggling to muster anything resembling an attack at 5-on-5, and committing bone-headed mistakes from which there has been no hope of recovery.

And that team, somehow, isn’t the Washington Capitals.

The heavily favored Tampa Bay Lightning have had their asses thoroughly kicked on home ice and appear to be working off the blueprint the Capitals used in every postseason before 2018. Both games were mostly decided by easily avoidable late-period Lightning penalties that resulted in Caps power-play goals just before the horn.

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After having these games handed to them on a silver platter, the Caps now know how the Pittsburgh Penguins felt facing them the past two years.

What makes this even more inexplicable is the Capitals have played both games without Nicklas Backstrom, and the Lightning were gifted a go-ahead power-play goal in Game 2 after a phantom high-sticking penalty. Yet the Caps have taken double-digit leads into the third period and coasted to the finish in both games.

Nothing about this series makes sense. Tom Wilson hasn’t even tried to kill anyone.

How can Tampa come back? Glad you asked, because a few simple adjustments are all that’s required for the Lightning to win four of five and restore order to the hockey universe.

1. Get this damn Chris Kunitz-Cedric Paquette-Ryan Callahan line off the ice

I’m no Hockey Man. I didn’t play for 14 years in the 1980s. So maybe this is just some hair-brained theory from an outsider, but try it on and see if you like it: you shouldn’t play shitty hockey players that often. It sounds crazy but I think the good hockey players should play more than the bad ones.

For reasons I do not understand, coach Jon Cooper decided he wants this Paquette line on the ice against the Capitals’ top line of Evgeny Kuznetsov, Alex Ovechkin, and Wilson. And in a way, Paquette’s line has done well by winning the shot-attempt battle at 5-on-5 since Cooper made this his preferred matchup.

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But here’s the thing: Kunitz, Paquette, and Callahan suck. They have a combined 1 goal and 1 assist in 12 postseason games and that one goal by Callahan was an empty-netter. Maybe in the 1990s this was the sort of line that you’d stick on the ice against an elite unit but it’s a waste of time in 2018, especially when Kuznetsov’s line doesn’t need to dominate possession to score at 5-on-5 and Paquette’s line literally hasn’t scored a goal against a goaltender in more than a month.

In Game 2, Kunitz, Paquette, and Callahan played about 11:30 at 5-on-5. That trio should never be on the ice for more than 10 even-strength minutes a night when it’s never going to put a puck in the net. Caps coach Barry Trotz has to love it, because all those extra shifts for the Paquette line means fewer shifts for the heralded Ondrej Palat-Tyler Johnson-Brayden Point line or any of the other highly skilled players on the Lightning payroll. There’s no risk or worry for the Kuznetsov line against the Paquette line because no matter how much it tilts the ice, it’s never scoring.

Why would Cooper show faith in the Point unit against Boston's Brad Marchand-Patrice Bergeron-David Pastrnak line after a slow start last round, but run from the matchup against Kuznetsov’s line this round? A dozen minutes of Paquette’s line means you’re attempting to play one-fifth of the game where the best-case scenario is a draw against Kuznetsov’s line.

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It’s like Cooper is overthinking the absence of Backstrom and is attempting to exploit the Capitals’ Backstrom-less depth instead of just throwing his best players over the boards as often as possible. Now that the series is shifting to Washington where the Capitals have last change and Backstrom closer to returning, it’s possible Cooper has lost his best opportunity to take advantage of the situation.

2. Leave Andrei Vasilevskiy alone

Maybe I’m crazy, but I don’t think Vasilevskiy has been all that bad. Deflections, defensemen falling down, odd-man rushes and some bad luck have victimized him in the first two games. He shouldn’t trip guys and score on himself in the final seconds of periods to put his team down two goals but it’s hard to blame him for anything else.

If the Lightning stop treating the neutral zone like a stage for turnover-based performance art, everything else will fall into the place.

3. Ryan McDonagh needs to get his shit together

The trade-deadline acquisition that was supposed to solidify an already solid defense group has been terrible this round and spotty at times in the first two rounds. Victor Hedman, Anton Stralman, and the overused Dan Girardi have been getting killed at 5-on-5 by the Capitals too, but McDonagh was supposed to be a difference-maker playing behind Hedman. Instead, he's been getting eaten alive by what constitutes the Caps depth.

McDonagh was the defenseman caught up ice on Devante Smith-Pelly’s goal that was laid mostly at the feet of J.T. Miller, but McDonagh jumped into a play at the end of a long shift and didn’t have the legs to get back defensively. McDonagh was also ineffective on the game’s first shift that led to Tom Wilson’s opening goal.

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Maybe icing so many ex-Rangers wasn’t the best long-term plan after all.

4. Stop using “Pit of misery! Dilly Dilly!” when the other team is called for a penalty

The Nashville Predators and Lightning were the favorites to reach the Stanley Cup Final when the postseason started. The Predators were bounced in the second round and it’s not a coincidence they used that dumbass clip from the Bud Light commercial in their arena and were deservedly eliminated by Winnipeg.

Tampa uses the same stupid clip and proceeded to get destroyed by a Capitals team that had considered the third round a magical place like Narnia before this year. It may be too late, but if the series comes back to Tampa, knock off the "dilly dilly" shit.

5. Go back and read No. 1

I can’t emphasize that point enough. Play your top-nine forwards as often as possible. Don’t get caught up in that “playing physical” nonsense like it’s 1996. Heavy hockey is losing hockey. Just because NBC wants to run a “highlight” package involving Callahan and Kunitz blocking shots and throwing meaningless hits doesn’t mean you have to believe that crap.

Cooper sent Paquette’s line out there for an offensive-zone draw three times in Game 2, which is three times too many. If the Lightning can get out of their own way, they can get still win this series.