Abu Dhabi's soccer club Al Jazira wanted to sign the Ivory Coast international and former Arsenal and Roma attacker, Gervinho. All is normal so far. Negotiations ensued. Then, a club source told Football Italia that Gervinho's demands were "obscene." Turns out, Gervinho wanted a helicopter, a private beach, accommodations for his family, and an "unknown number" of plane tickets to the Ivory Coast.A world of credit to Gervinho. You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take. Although, in Gervinho's case, you also miss a lot of the shots you do take:Helicopters aren't cheap, but Al Jazira's chairman is Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan, the deputy prime minister of the UAE and a member of the Abu Dhabi ruling family. Dude's got coin. A new, luxury chopper might run $2 million. My man Al Nahyan probably makes that in an hour. That being said, if you're willing to drop that much dough on an international transfer, maybe you shouldn't make it the guy whose terrible play has made children cry.For the definitive Gervinho story, I defer to VICE Sports UK editor Jim Weeks: