Making America great again isn't something you find on the back of a cake mix box. It doesn't come in some kind of blue and yellow kit that tells you how to toggle its flimsy plywood planks together with dowels and prefab screw joints. Nay, making America great again requires a complex balance of abstract political theory, mixed with hard-lined economic measures to implement effective, open policies that reflect a shared moral structure, representative of all parts in a diverse yet cogent national body. It's not some kind of commodity, man. It's an organic grass-roots movement. And that movement starts with buying a hat.While it's not too far fetched to believe that Tom Brady and Donald Trump are friends—both live in the upper right corner of the country, both have issues with deflated balls, are wealthy and date supermodels, not to mention that Tom Brady exists in the proper inner circle of Donald Trump's friendship Venn Diagram: namely all that is not female, not poor, and not not-white—it is a wonder how Trump's signature sombrero (o gorra), shall we call it, has come into possession of a certain quarterback who has recently escaped the long arm of Goodell's law.Tom wants to make America great again. pic.twitter.com/gkUsB4OXe6
— Feitelberg (@FeitsBarstool) September 5, 2015
Wonder no more! Tom Brady has made the full commitment to bringing our country to the next level, and we congratulate him. He is a total winner; he has the hat. From here, we can only imagine that No. 12, America Personified, will bestow upon the land his power—vested in him by the state of Trump—to truly make America great again. Like Touchdown Tom himself, never count out America.Congratulations to Tom Brady on yet another great victory- Tom is my friend and a total winner!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 3, 2015