NBA Summer Vacation Watch: Shots from the Mid-Range of Summer
One of the only rules we have here at Summer Vacation Watch is do not run up the Great Wall of China. Just be chill.
Photos via Instagram/@jimmybutler, @joelembiid
Look, there’s little to no preamble needed for this one. We’re in the thick of the season, my friends, and like the bounty of any good summer harvest there’s a lot to digest—so slap on some SPF and crack a cold bev of your choice, ‘cause summer is fleeting and there’s no time to waste.
A first for simultaneous hashtags in the sand and Chopin’s "Funeral March" on SVW. Also, shamefully, a first for the classic vacation gag of burying somebody up to their head on the beach. However, Embiid is nothing if not a league trendsetter so watch this space to see if this catches on and we get more of our favorites covered in extremely large quantities of sand before the off-season is turned, regrettably, back on.
Rating: Lots of fun and a little bit spooky, set to the soundtrack of a classic 19th century composer? Carefree middle of summer, we have arrived unto thee.
Look who is still on vacation! Jimmy Butler is ostensibly making it right the hell up from his lack of downtime last summer, with some QT in Italy, a quick dip into Spain for Pau Gasol’s birthday, then skipping like a beautiful piece of beach glass down to the Greek islands in an oceanic teal Stella McCartney linen tunic and shorts combo to get his reps in as he’s spotted by the Aegean.
Rating: Is this our Eat, Pay, Love?
After last week’s Lillard sighting—wonderful as it was to see Dame crooning down the Colombia River on a Jet Ski—I was concerned one of the Blazers might not make it to a more exotic locale but McCollum has come through, for all of us.
Rating: Congratulations to C.J. for acquiring the pool and matching geolocation tag of my dreams.
There is no one of this earth that gets as much use out of their Disney World season’s pass as Swaggy P, and no one who gets as much enjoyment out of Disney World as Swaggy P. In one visit we have two hat changes and four era changes—puritan, pirate, something with lights, log driving—plus P doing an immaculately timed selfie the moment the roller coaster took his family’s photo, like summer Inception.
Rating: Could have used a big turkey leg but I assume he’ll be back before the summer’s out.
Just when you think you thought you knew how to relax poolside, there’s D’Angelo Russell getting a massage beside his.
Rating: Rude of the postal service not to deliver the memo that swimming has herein been elevated!
Please enjoy Faried and his toucan swim trunks yachting; parasailing; and posing in, on, around, and over the Adriatic Sea.
Rating: Faried is a free agent next summer and the Nuggets or whomstever better not lock it down before summer vacation re-signs him, once again.
Turns out all it takes to get me interested in the World Cup is Gorgui Dieng and a little thing called his huge patriotism!
Rating: Dieng went on to best both Croatia and France and take home the big, gold global cup for himself.
Tim Hardaway, Jr.
Freedom’s just another word for Tim Hardaway, Jr. on a yacht in Miami.
Rating: Somewhere between Madonna in the music video for her cover of "American Pie" and an extremely chill Uncle Sam who wants you to have a good summer.
A very mysterious photo of Brogdon off the coast of Cartagena looking extremely relaxed. No real clues as to where he is headed or from where he has come, equipped as best he can be in a muscle tank and swim trunks, ready for whatever this vacation may throw his way—
Rating:—which, from the looks of it, might be a cool sea breeze and the company of friends.
Bet you didn’t know how much you needed to see a photo of Dillon Brooks skanking down an old alleyway in Girona, in the Catalonia region of Spain, until you did, huh?
Rating: M-m-m-my Girona!
The Great Wall continues to be an extremely popular SVW destination this offseason and true to the tradition of guys unable to go there and not work out for just one second, Langston Galloway attempted to run up 2,000 stairs, thankfully tiring out at around thirty.
Rating: UNESCO does not stand for U Need Extra Stairs, Cardio Obsessively
Here we go! Pelicans guard E’Twaun Moore also on the Great Wall, hopefully via gondola, looking not at all out of breath and without a sweatband or compression tights in sight. This is how you do the Great Wall, guys! Communism allows chilling.
Rating: UNESCO does (not really) stand for U’ll Never Ever See Chiller Objects
Jackson looking like the most Not-a-dude-not-yet-a-dad in Hawaii with the process shot of him getting the shot, then a picture of the shot, then him all of a sudden on top of a horse to go off and get an even better shot.
Rating: A man and a horse worth trading your whole entire starting roster away for, honestly.
Oh good Lord, here we have Ron Baker up to his old tricks again, somehow always being bad at summer vacations despite all of the privilege and resources afforded to him. Ron was in Vegas for Summer League and decided to do a little excursion out of Sin City to go to a… giant, boring dam.
Rating: Dam you.
Nice of the Bad-At-Summertime MVPs to make my life easier and hopefully get it out of their systems this week, because next up is Aron Baynes! We catch this Taking-It-Easy Fraud descending a whole bunch of stairs he just climbed up in Hawaii instead of doing as Demetrius Jackson would and simply enjoying himself.
Rating: Baynes of vacations everywhere.
But we do need to end this big week on a high note and that’s why I’ve saved Ben McLemore, mere days before he was to wed, doing the "In My Feelings" challenge atop a pool fountain as an outro. Please, enjoy this balm and watch on repeat until we meet again next week.
Rating: Like a sunburn, bad vacations fade, but tandem dance routines with friends and loved ones that end with a leap into crystal clear waters last forever.