Let Us Celebrate LeBron James, as His Team Gets Steamrolled

LeBron James has been incandescent in his seventh straight NBA Finals appearance. Across two games, he has notched 57 points, 26 rebounds, and 22 god dang assists. He's also become the all time playoff scoring leader, managed to match Magic Johnson's all time Finals triple-double record, and has generally looked like the best player on a court he shares with two former MVPs and J.R. Smith.

That this is happening in a series where his team has been taken to the woodshed by the Warriors is entirely without consequence. You might recall that many of our towering philosophical and religious figures served and worked in a world that was openly hostile to their existence. The Roman government forced Socrates to drink poison, Jesus Christ's message of love and forgiveness introduced his palms to a sharpened nail, Sir Thomas More was executed for refusing to accept a divorcee as the representative of God's divinity on Earth. The blood of these great men, representatives of a greater truth, would fall into the bricks of history, mixing with the grouts of time and forming the philosophical and moral foundation of civilization that keeps the wall of human society from collapsing at the slightest shove from fat old wannabe tyrants.

Like these luminaries, LeBron's glorious works in this series will, someday, form the basis of a better basketball world, built on the principles he has set forth for us in this, his time of profound martyrdom. We gaze upon a glorious new future, and have been given the opportunity to read and observe the texts he is writing IN REAL TIME. And so, we consult the thread of the developing text, the original disciple of LeBron who will spread his message when he is dead and gone from this earth:

Observe the way LeBron has escaped the prison of the body as the conduit for basketball greatness, behold how he uses his spirit and aura to turn Zaza away from the basket. LeBron has transcended the flesh, and made his spirit one with the wood he stands on. Zaza should rotate to challenge, but James's control of the spiritual plane—a basketball skill that goes beyond anything we could have possibly imagined up to this point—erects a wall in the form of his own body, opening up the rim for an uncontested dunk. LeBron himself seems almost shocked by this power he has manifested, hesitating for a second before rising up and slamming it home.

To watch this clip, over and over and over, to be there, to take it apart piece by piece, is the only way to forge a new future—not just for basketball, but for human mastery of the brain, the ability to warp reality itself, to unlock the ultimate diamond of the mind.

And yet, just because the Cavs are technically down in the series, this new power goes ignored by the masses.

See what happens when a mere SuperAthlete like JaVale tries in vain to defy LeBron's newly-unearthed mastery of time and space, unlocked with the four-dimensional key of his diamond-cut mind. Tragedy, madness, and death, all in service to a cause that will be forgotten, cast into history's perdition like Pontius Pilate or the Roman retrogrades who presided over the Death of Socrates.

LeBron began to find these divine powers within himself at the end of last season, when he Traversed the Holy Ten Feet to meet Andre Iguodala at the rim and deny him a game-winning layup. In this moment, he unlocked the ultimate potential of the human spirit, which was witnessed by all who watched. His enemies in Oakland could only hunker down and sign more and better players to double down on their mathematical heresies. But here, we can see that one of their rank, that wicked coward whose layup was denied on that day, has The Doubt in His Soul, the visceral understanding of his place in the universe, and here we see him back up and skate out of the way when the train of this celestial spirit arrives once more in his station.

See a new disciple's eyes open to this truth:

Barcelona and Brazil alike will reap glorious rewards from this moment of revelation, mark it down, right now. Neymar will bring LeBron's message to the world at large, and the truth of his work will manifest in soccer before it even takes root in his home country of basketball, like the Buddha's word spreading across China when India turned its back to the inner light.

Spread feet, spiked hands. This is the pose of the power of sharing, one of the advanced practices of LeBronism. Only advanced students in search of true basketball enlightenment need apply to this insanely high level of court vision and physical practice.

LeBron is now one mere performance away from surpassing Magic as the all-time NBA Finals triple double king. That's right, he stands at the precipice of becoming bigger than magic itself, more magical than the forces of the arcane, moving ever closer to the moment when his very DNA, the imprint of his existence, is what binds the world together, the common energy that flows through all of us. Soon, maybe this year, maybe next year, maybe during his unlikely run to the finals as a 40-year-old playing out the string on the Portland Trail Blazers, his physical form will dissipate altogether, and the whole world will find itself imbued with his power, his excellence flowing through each and every one of us as the Fifth Age of Man builds a better world.

We will wear this hat, with its subtle protruding fin, as the symbol of the great one who bound us in his spirit. LeBron now, LeBron forever.