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Sports

Wayne Rooney Gets Staples to the Head, Has Always Been Frankenstein

Suspicious that the man didn't even flinch.

There has always been something a little stitched-together about Rooney. The cube-like head, punctuated with an equally boxy jaw, the lumbering stride—as if on uneven legs—the super-human capacity, and carrying more than a hint of death behind his eyes.

But now, after Rooney received a couple staples to the head, it's fair to say that he has gone all-out Frankenstein. It's alive! Alive! (Sorry—couldn't help myself.)

In the Derbiest of Derbies between Manchester City and Manchester United, Wayne Rooney seemingly took a brutal, running chin to the head from Kompany and started to bleed profusely from his hexahedric noggin. The solution? Why, stapling it back together of course.

The man doesn't even flinch. A badass? Or has Rooney always been the king of the undead…