england national team

david seaman gets lobbed

The Tragedy Of David Seaman Getting Lobbed By Ronaldinho at the 2002 World Cup

To this naive child of the nineties, David Seaman was a ponytailed and moustachioed hero who could do no wrong. Then he got lobbed by Ronaldinho, and the skies fell in.
Will Magee
6.21.17
disastrous england appointments

We Asked Football Manager Whether Corbyn or May Would Do Better at the 2018 World Cup

With a hung parliament in session and Britain in an absolute state, one of Theresa May or Jeremy Corbyn is going to have to sort out Brexit. To determine who would do a better job, we asked Football Manager, for some reason.
Will Magee
6.14.17
caribbean football

Searching For The Caribbean Soul Of English Football

Over the past half a century in particular, the cultural exchange between England and the Caribbean has been enormous. Nowhere is that statement more true than on the football pitch, and in England’s professional leagues.
Will Magee
5.26.17
farewell to graham taylor

Remembering The Unlikely and Endearing Friendship Between Graham Taylor and Elton John

When Elton John took over at his beloved Watford, he needed a manager who could fulfil his ambitions. That manager was Graham Taylor, and they became firm friends as a result.
Will Magee
1.13.17
cry 'god for big sam england and saint george!'

We Bid Thee, Big Sam, Awaken: The Return Of England’s Prodigal Son

Somewhere on the Costa Blanca, a primal power stirs and awakens. It is Big Sam, he is dressed like Henry V, and he is about to descend on England like an avenging angel to slay those ungrateful fooks at the FA.
Will Magee
12.23.16
the great poppy wrangle

FIFA Fines England Over £35,000 For Display Of Poppies During World Cup Qualifiers

Meanwhile, Scotland and Wales have been fined over £15,000, and Northern Ireland almost £12,000.
Will Magee
12.19.16
premier league

Six Strange Months in the Life of Jamie Vardy

Having undergone a meteoric rise over the past few seasons, the last six months have been strangely static for Jamie Vardy. That seemed to change this weekend, or so he will hope.
Will Magee
12.12.16
england

FA Decide To Ban Nights Out After Wayne Rooney Gets Shitfaced

Having been caught on the piss after England's win over Scotland, it appears that Rooney has now ruined the fun for everyone else.
Mike Vorkunov
11.18.16
the wayne rooney pint glass controversy

The Spirit Of Big Sam Compels You: Analysing The Wayne Rooney Wine Fiasco

With The Sun speculating that Wayne Rooney got completely off his tits after England’s win against Scotland last week, we ask the big questions about the latest national team wine scandal.
Will Magee
11.16.16
resigning in the shitter

True Nobility In The Bogs: Remembering The End Of Kevin Keegan’s England Reign

On this day, 16 years ago, England lost their last ever match at the old Wembley Stadium. What ensued was both hilarious and poignant, in the way that only Kevin Keegan could be.
Will Magee
10.7.16
big sam vs. modern technology

Sam Allardyce Renamed The St. George’s Park WiFi Connection, And This Is What It Means

During his short spell as England manager, Big Sam apparently named the in-house WiFi connection ‘BIG SAM’S OFFICE’. This is extremely significant, for more reasons than one.
Will Magee
10.5.16
big sam necking a pint of chablis

Reflections On The Sam Allardyce Scandal: Bowing Out With A Pint Of Wine

With Big Sam in the shit after an undercover sting by The Telegraph, we explore the biggest question thrown up by the investigation: seriously, is he drinking a pint of fucking wine?
Will Magee
9.27.16
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