Area Tumblr Blogger Finds Ciara’s Dress Problematic

Above is Ciara, moments after finishing the national anthem before last night's College Football Championship game. It was pretty good? I don't actually know, I wasn't listening, or don't remember because it's the fucking national anthem and it is literally sung before every goddamned sporting event in this country. I also have to come clean about this: I know nothing about Ciara's music career, what she sings, how she sings, none of it. I don't have any strong opinions about Ciara; she is not in my musical wheelhouse. I know her primarily as the woman God, by way of a mirror, told Russell Wilson not to have sex with. But! Ciara is famous and sang the national anthem prior to a major sporting event and—gasp—you can see some of the skin in her boobal region. If you are an idiot, or a Hot Take craftsman, you are upset about this.

Appropriate, fair tweet. The dress was inappropriate. Her voice was more than enough. Why distract w/nudity? https://t.co/Fv93ioO7TM
— Jason Whitlock (@WhitlockJason) January 12, 2016

I'm 100 percent serious. I'm not a prude. Love nudity. Not at national champ game. Inappropriate. https://t.co/LoTzEqBQQJ
— Jason Whitlock (@WhitlockJason) January 12, 2016

Just because I thought dress inappropriate doesn't mean I'm outraged. Just my opinion. Should've covered up breasts. https://t.co/LO2xbt9woL
— Jason Whitlock (@WhitlockJason) January 12, 2016

Time and a place for everything. This wasn't the right time. It was a public-titty stunt. https://t.co/isCb48epze
— Jason Whitlock (@WhitlockJason) January 12, 2016

[GROAAAAAAAAAAAAAN]

National Anthem at sporting event is a patriotic moment. It's not an award show for Hollywood. #igiveup https://t.co/jZZgsQh9nB
— Jason Whitlock (@WhitlockJason) January 12, 2016

National Anthem should be about the song/voice, not the body. #respect Cleavage is for halftime show, cheerleaders. https://t.co/7N9iJW60cP
— Jason Whitlock (@WhitlockJason) January 12, 2016

I don't for half of one second believe that Whitlock actually believes any of the things he's tweeted about this dress. He's made a career out of making his conservative pandering appear like contrarianism and this is one of the more strained attempts at it. Look at that dress and then look at the string of tweets—this is a non-exhaustive compilation, by the way—about it. You can see parts of her breasts—during a patriotic moment! We are supposed to be stroking one off to the flag and blowing shit up and stuff, not some lady's round, bouncy parts.

I'm just going to take a minute here to point out that, as a woman, Ciara does have breasts. Science confirms this as true. She would have breasts whether they were "covered up" or not. Whitlock, who "love[s] nudity," seems to think she was nude, or not un-nude enough, that she was not "covered up" to the appropriate degree required by a national championship game. Kids are watching, after all.

Obviously Ciara was not nude. She was wearing a dress. Personally, I thought she looked beautiful and elegant. But this is not at all about Ciara. It is entirely about Whitlock trying to make a scene for himself and using a woman as the foot in the door to the other, actual, pearl-clutching men and women who think ladies should look attractive, but not too attractive.

You might notice that he replies to the people he's pissed off by quoting their tweets within a new tweet. He's not interested in debating a genuine belief. He's putting on a performance. "It's just my opinion," he says, which translates to: this is what I'm saying so people will pay attention to me. It is so obvious with this guy now; this is what he does. His pandering, bullshit schtick is what's naked here, not Ciara.