Dan Hamilton-USA TODAY Sports
Three Stars of Comedy
The second star: This very realistic rock star – He gets it.
The first star: This very mean left winger – So much for the tolerant left.
Boys, easy, we're all friends here. Can't we think back to happier times of Kraft Dinner, mystery laundry and electric pilot lights?
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Outrage of the Week
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Obscure Former Player of the Week
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Debating the Issues
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Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown
- We're watching an interview with Maple Leafs GM Floyd Smith, who's in his second season on the job and has had a busy few months. He recently made the worst trade in Maple Leafs history, his team is headed for last place, and everyone in Toronto wants him to lose his job. It's not going well.
- This clip is from 1991. I don't have a specific date, but it's from some time before June, because that's when Smith is going to get fired. I would have put a spoiler alert on that, but this is a story about the Maple Leafs. You already knew it wasn't ending well.
- In case you're not familiar with Floyd Smith, he played 13 seasons in the NHL, was a head coach for six seasons, went into scouting, and was eventually named Toronto's GM in 1989. He's a guy who's been around. And, as we're about to find out, at this point in his career he gives exactly zero dangnabbits what you or anyone else think about his work.
- Our piece is introduced by CTV sports anchor Joe Tilley, who doesn't seem to be a big fan of Smith's. He's actually being restrained here—check out this clip from the same season in which he absolutely ethers Smith as "under-qualified and hopelessly incompetent." And here he is two decades later singing about the Leafs being hopeless. Also, he was apparently a three-time Alberta welterweight champion. I thoroughly enjoy Joe Tilley.
- Sadly, Tilley isn't handling the actual interview; those duties to go to Suneel Joshi. But first, we need to meet the unquestioned star of our show: Whoever it is that does the graphics at CTV sports. This guy is fantastic. He starts us off with "Crisis Management" and a Maple Leafs logo being torn in half. That's some subtle symbolism right there.
- Wait, why is the "A" from Leafs lying there, but not the "O" from Toronto? This is going to bother me all day.
- Smith starts right in on the Leafs, and how awful they've been for the last decade. He's not wrong there. Meanwhile, Joshi listens to him with the exact same expression and posture my wife uses when I try to tell her about my fantasy football team.
- Joshi asks about the pending shakeup in Leafs ownership, and whether that has Smith worried. The GM replies that "I don't hear very much from the people around here." Uh, that probably means you should be worried, Floyd.
- We get our second graphic: "Let's Make a Deal," which disappointingly does not feature a bunch of Maple Leaf players dressed in outrageous costumes. Instead, it's fistful of Canadian twenties, which appear to be being offered to the Maple Leafs logo as compensation for the recent ripping-in-half incident.
- Smith pumps the tires of a few of the team's veterans, including team captain Rob Ramage, "who gives us tremendous leadership." Fun fact: the Leafs lost Ramage in the expansion draft that May.
- We really kick into high gear when Joshi asks if Smith has given up too much of the future. "What future? What'd I give up?" I love this answer so much, and it's made even better when Joshi asks a follow-up about Scott Pearson and Smith answers by talking about Scott Thornton, who at this point is still on the team. But for the record, neither Pearson nor Johnny McIntyre amounted to all that much, so Smith is kind of sort of right here.
- Smith then explains that "all the teams that are up near the top" are trading away picks and prospects, which is maybe not the best point to hit when your team is closing in on dead last. But he redeems himself with "Draft picks are good when they play, but only 20% of them play." Hell yeah, look at Floyd breaking out the analytics!
- Seriously though, Cliff Fletcher said "draft schmaft" in 1996 and to this day people still bring it up, but Smith basically torched his whole scouting department in this interview and nobody cared. The internet ruined everything.
- Our next graphic: "The Price Is Right." Wait, are we doing a game show theme here? Was "Crisis Management" a game show? Because that sounds awesome.
- We shift to talk about Wendel Clark's contract, during which Smith says Clark's recent problems were "more mental than physical." Again, let's imagine a GM saying something like this today. We'd have three days of blistering hot takes and counter-takes. Back then, every Leaf fan watched this interview and went "Sure, I guess" and went back to organizing our eight-track cassettes.
- Our last graphic is "Search for Tomorrow," which was definitely not a game show. But that doesn't bother me because I'm looking at a Maple Leafs logo flat on its back while beams of light poke through a clouded sky. Did…did the Maple Leafs die? Are they going to heaven right now, graphics guy? Should I have brought flowers?
- "We're in a tough division with some good hockey teams." Oh great, as if things weren't bad enough the Leafs have apparently been kicked out of the Norris.
- We wrap up with Smith running down a short list of areas the Leafs need to improve in: Their play within the division, their play on the road, and "definitely" their play at home. Other than that, they're all set.
- And we end with Smith planting his flag in the ground, with a promise to Leafs fans: "I feel really strongly that…uh…it will not embarrass anybody next year." Aim for the stars, Floyd!
- The epilogue here is that Smith was quickly fired and replaced by Fletcher, who almost immediately turned the Leafs into contenders. That was pretty much it for Smith as an NHL front office presence, much to the despair of interviewers everywhere.