Bad Blood, Bad Bears, and More: Week 12 of Dumb Football with Mike Tunison

It's about time ideological battles were waged on the gridiron instead of within the namby-pamby realm of intellectual debate. Intellectual debate ain't played nobody.

In the lead-up to Sunday's game between the Miami Dolphins and the San Francisco 49ers, Miami Herald columnist Armando Salguero asked 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick about a T-shirt he wore back in August that featured a photo of Malcolm X and Fidel Castro. Kaepernick claimed the shirt was significant to him because it represented Malcolm's willingness to hear from lots of perspectives. That answer was not satisfactory for the Cuban-born Salguero, who went on to call Kaepernick an "unrepentant hypocrite" for defending Castro in his column on Friday, published shortly before news broke of the Cuban dictator's death.

Evidently, Kapernick's answer wasn't enough for the Dolphins' Kiko Alonso, either.

The Miami linebacker, a second-generation Cuban-American, brought down Kaepernick short of the end zone on the final play of the game, which the 49ers lost 31-14. Afterwards, Salguero caught up with Alonso. "I didn't read your article, to be honest. But I did see what happened. So, yeah, there were some feelings on my part," Alonso told him, later adding, "There was some bad blood there for me with Kaepernick."

Salguero also wrote that he received texts from lots of "NFL people" after the game claiming they saw something extra out of Alonso's performance on Sunday.

To be sure, Alonso had a fine game, recording 12 tackles, an interception, and a recovered fumble. Kaepernick played pretty well himself, passing for 296 yards and three touchdowns, and rushing for 113 more yards. It just so happens that the game ended in a way that allowed for maximum narrative.

This is bound to happen with Kaepernick. From his protest about police brutality and systematic oppression of minorities in the United States to his decision not to vote in the presidential election—and now, belated reaction to him wearing a shirt that featured Castro—he has been an inescapable part of the NFL this year. It's fair to say that we haven't seen anything like his 2016 season and may never see it again—not in the NFL, home to a culture in which the word "distraction" is used to define and eliminate behaviors or viewpoints even a little out of the norm.

That broken finger of Carr has gotten into his head. I dislocated a finger & I was ready to chop it off to show nothing can get in my way.

— Bill Romanowski (@billromanowski)November 28, 2016

The Oakland Raiders beat the Carolina Panthers 35-32 on Sunday to clinch their first winning season since 2002. They survived a scare on both the scoreboard and the injury front to get there, though, giving up a 17-point lead in the third quarter and watching quarterback Derek Carr leave the game after dislocating his finger on an especially unfortunate encounter with his center's butt.

Carr hardly missed any time and the Raiders rallied to win, but it was a reminder that the most successful seasons can be wiped away in an instant if your starting quarterback gets injured and isn't willing to chop off one of the fingers on his throwing hand. Rest assured, I have zero doubt that Romanowski, a former NFL linebacker, is entirely sincere in this conviction, and that he could win a staring contest with a klieg light.

Ravens win by holding Bengals intentionally and delaying safety, there's no time extension for the flags — Vikings Blogger (@firstandskol)November 27, 2016

In the final play of a close game against the Cincinnati Bengals, the Baltimore Ravens were able to run out the clock to secure the win by having their punter run around for 11 seconds before taking a safety as the clock hit zero. This was only possible because Baltimore committed egregious holding on the play, worse than the garden-variety holding you can call on just about any play. Because there are no time-extending penalties for the team that possesses the ball, it didn't matter that the Ravens were penalized, since the Bengals wouldn't get another play anyway. I'm not sure you can correct this in the rulebook without getting maddeningly specific, so for now I'll just say it's a canny bit of strategy by the Ravens, and something tremendously on-brand to happen to the Bengals.

Clarification on last play of half in — Dean Blandino (@DeanBlandino)November 28, 2016

Speaking of minutiae in the rulebook, one bit that has cropped up lately is the rule stating that a player driven backward by a hit going out of bounds cannot stop the clock. On one hand, going out of bounds seems like something that should be the same across the board; on the other, it's hard to take too much exception with a rule that benefits the defense, since those are increasingly rare in the NFL.

Going through video, Superdome security guard asked to see Gregg Williams' credential — Robert O'Shields (@BobbyO504)November 27, 2016

The New Orleans Saints had a grand ol' time running up the score on their former defensive coordinator Gregg Williams, who is now with the Los Angeles Rams. With a 49-21 victory, New Orleans' offensive totals on the day marked near-record highs against a Williams-coached defense. Only the 2007 New England Patriots have scored more points in a single game versus Williams—52 while Williams was at Washington—and the Saints' 555 total yards ties the regulation-time high set by the Colts against the Williams-coached Bills in 2001.

This was Williams' first visit to the Superdome since being implicated in the Saints' bounty program, mainly during the 2009 season. It's unclear whether New Orleans head coach Sean Payton harbors any particular animosity toward Williams, but he clearly was giddily hopping around on the sideline after calling trick plays up 20-plus points in the fourth quarter. I am of the belief that running up the score is fun on anyone, let alone former coworkers, so it's hard to blame Payton for his glee.

Thanks! — Atlanta Falcons (@AtlantaFalcons)November 27, 2016

The Atlanta Falcons rolled the Arizona Cardinals 38-19. Wide receiver Taylor Gabriel accounted for more than 100 yards of offense and scored two touchdowns against the Cardinals, so the Falcons' Twitter account felt like reminding the Cleveland Browns, who released Gabriel in September, of what they were missing. Cleveland, of course, was busy falling to 0-12 and having the seventh player this season attempt a pass for them.

Look, we can all agree that pettiness against Gregg Williams is good and deserved, but kicking the Browns while they're down, especially when not engaged to head-to-head competition, just seems unnecessarily cruel. Besides, we all know that Falcons' Super Bowl trophy case is as barren as the Browns'.

Hey, there's a Simpsons marathon going on, and there's little reason to watch a Bears game other than to drink yourself miserable and stupid, so please enjoy my overused reference to the show.

A meeting of the Buffalo Bills and the Jacksonville Jaguars conjures nothing but the worst images of fan suffering. Say this about Buffalo fans, though—they do a good job of papering over their sadness with pure hedonism. Usually, our dispatches from Ralph Wilson Stadium involve powerbombs through tables or people drinking liquor from the nether regions of mannequins. This is the holiday season, however, so instead here's a man in a turkey outfit being roasted as though he's on an imaginary spit over a bonfire. I would have thought it'd be disturbing when NFL fans finally resorted to cannibalism, but I didn't foresee there being clever cosplay involved. It's actually pretty charming how they're gonna eat that guy.

1. Justin Tucker, Baltimore Ravens. It's been awhile since there was a swaggy kicker in the NFL, and it appears Tucker wants to assume the mantle. The Ravens kicker set a NFL first by connecting on three field goals of more than 50 yards in the first half, throwing up his arms in a "Are you not entertained?" pose after hitting a 57-yarder. He even drilled a second-half kickoff through the uprights, which is something that should count for points.

Kicker memes — Mike Tunison (@xmasape)November 28, 2016

2. Khalil Mack, Oakland Raiders. It was a banner Sunday for the AFC West's premier pass rushers. While a lot of attention was paid to the condition of Carr's right pinky finger, the Raiders linebacker was putting on a show, getting a pick-six on an incredible interception of a Cam Newton screen pass, and later sealing the win with a strip-sack.

3. Justin Houston, Kansas City Chiefs. That Kansas City was even in the game against Denver at halftime, much less leading, had a lot to do with Houston, who shredded anything put in front of him on the right side of the Broncos line. Houston finished with three sacks, including one that forced a fumble that led to a safety for the game's opening score.

4. Von Miller, Denver Broncos. As underwhelming as the quarterback matchup was at times on Sunday night, it was a chance for some of the NFL's top edge rushers to tee off. Miller had three sacks, as well, along with four hurries, to lead an impressive effort by the Denver front seven that would have been part of a winning effort had the offense found any traction before the second half.

5. Alterraun Verner, Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The Bucs corner, still mourning the loss of his father on Friday, intercepted a Russell Wilson pass on Sunday and immediately went to the ground in tears. Verner had a very effective game overall, allowing only three receptions for 38 yards on the day to go along with that emotional moment late in the first half as Seattle was trying to narrow the 14-5 Tampa lead. The Seahawks were denied there, and failed to put any points on the board in the second half as the Bucs completed the upset.

1. Seattle's offensive line. After several weeks of improvement, offense suddenly became an issue again for the Seahawks, as Russell Wilson was pressured on more than half of his dropbacks against Tampa Bay. The Seattle QB certainly didn't help his cause by completing just two of 13 pass attempts under pressure. He was sacked six times on the day, with rookie Germain Ifedi surrendering three of them.

2. Brock Osweiler. Give Osweiler this, at least—he's getting very good at blaming himself for poor performances each week without any semblance of improvement. Osweiler threw three interceptions against San Diego, and Houston's once comfortable lead in the AFC South is now down to just a half-game over Tennessee. Only the Rams, the Chicago Bears, and the Browns have scored fewer points per game than the Texans this season. If Houston hadn't invested so much in Osweiler over the off-season, they would surely have moved on at starter by this point. They simply have no choice but to brave it with him and hope that progress comes.

3. Phillip Gaines. It's hard to have a worse line as a defensive back than being targeted eight times and giving up six receptions for 209 yards and two touchdowns. Gaines was the weak point for an otherwise solid Chiefs defense, and the Broncos found a way to continually exploit him for big plays.

4. Ron Rivera. The Riverboat moniker has always been a bit of an exaggeration, as Rivera has only seldom been any more aggressive than any other head coach in the NFL. On Sunday, faced with a chance to attempt a fourth and a foot from his own 40 in a tie game with about five minutes left, Rivera elected to punt. The Raiders kicked the game-winning field goal on the ensuing drive. Even worse, the Broncos converted a fourth down on a similar distance later in the evening, executing a sneak with a quarterback considerably smaller than Cam Newton.

5. Bears receivers. Chicago's receiving corps registered a staggering ten drops against the Titans, including Josh Bellamy dropping a wide open would-be game-winning touchdown with less than a minute left. The Bears eventually turned it over on downs.

A Green Bay Packers-Philadelphia Eagles game in Philly evokes memories of the fourth-and-26 play from the 2003 playoffs, so allow the blessing of a Freddie Mitchell reference wash over your Monday and cleanse you of sorrow. Sorry if this offends, cheeseheads.

At the outset of the season, the Eagles being at .500 after 11 weeks would have seemed like overachieving, while the Packers having a losing record would have made people assume that Aaron Rodgers got hurt. The fact that Philly started 3-0 was probably the worst thing to happen to local fans, whose surging hopes have since been beaten back down.

While expectations may have tempered overall, there's no denying that Philly is still very much a strong team at home this season. They're 4-0 at the Linc, with impressive wins over the Pittsburgh Steelers, the Minnesota Vikings, and the Falcons. That's a tough road assignment for a Packers team in disarray. They've been devastated by injuries on defense, while Aaron Rodgers has been unable to regain the brilliance that made him arguably the best quarterback in the NFL for the first half of this decade.

The middle of the pack in the NFC is weak enough that a 9-7 or even 8-8 team might get the second Wild Card berth, but it's difficult to see the Packers getting there should they lose in Philly and dip to 4-7; four of Green Bay's last five games are scheduled against teams presently with a winning record. For the Eagles, meanwhile, a win will have them back within a half-game of that last playoff spot, which, in turn, reduces the negativity among Philly fans by approximately not a single percent.

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