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Sports

Giant Disembodied Head Threatens to Swallow Astros Parade Whole

For some reason?
Screenshot via @ESPN Twitter

Guys, I can't for the life of me figure out what the hell this insane giant, disembodied white dude's head is doing at the Astros parade. Because someone spent a lot of time working on that thing. It's not like someone just willed it into existence. It's fucking huge. They had a lot of time to consider their choices, and they went for it anyway.

Let's take a look:

It's horrifying. Yes, I see that he's wearing an Astro's hat. So there's some relevance? But what's going on? What is the meaning? Is it another jab at Puig's tongue thing? Why does it look like someone either at the dentist, or dropping some kind of decadent upper?

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Aside from this apocalyptic Nickelodeon prop from your childhood coming back to haunt your ass, it seems like everyone was having a good time at the rest of the parade. Houston fulfilled a major prediction! They needed a triumph after a huge natural disaster! There are a lot of reasons to celebrate.

Here are some good things happening around the parade:

Oh, yeah, and the players were there too:

Seems fun! But pray for them all, though. That giant Ozymandias head is coming to swallow them whole any second now. Good luck sleeping tonight.