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Sports

Draymond Green Stuffed the Shit Out of the Trail Blazers

Draymond Green came out to Game 1 against the Trail Blazers trying to fuck people up today.

#NBAPlayoffs block by Draymond Green. pic.twitter.com/C9CZrdGooj
— NBA (@NBA) April 16, 2017

Draymond Green came out to Game 1 against the Trail Blazers trying to fuck people up today. And he succeeded. Mightily.

Just take a look at this stat line, coming ever-so close to a triple double. In 37 minutes, the man tallied 19 points, 12 rebounds, nine assists, three steals, and five blocks. But those blocks, man… "five" doesn't really do them justice. It's how they were done. They were mean.

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Above, we have Draymond's first victim, Noah Vonleh. Damian Lillard dished Vonleh a sweet setup with a clear drive to the hoop, and Vonleh took flight on what surely looked like an upcoming Portland poster of Green getting worked. But instead, this wall art might have a Warriors crest on it, as Green found the ball with the very tips of his fingers to pack it back to Steph Curry below. It was magnificent.

But this wasn't just some early game heroics that'd get lost in Green's overall performance of the night. The man kept going—and on the Blazers' prized player and Oakland native, Lillard himself:

Draymond does it again on #NBAonABC! pic.twitter.com/upRfVLB2nK
— NBA (@NBA) April 16, 2017

Lillard left Durant in the dust and was poised to have run the whole Warriors' defense ragged, but Draymond hadn't given up yet. Draymond took flight and got what seemed like an even bigger chunk of the ball to deny Lillard. It's hard to choose a favorite from the two here.

I'm not sure what Draymond has against Portland—maybe he got food poisoning from a chicken named Colin there once? Either way, Santa Draymond treated Portland like a bunch of Christmas stockings tonight—on Easter.