Guillermo Varela, Vasyl Grytsuk and Carlos Tevez: VICE Sports' Goals of the Week

Though you might not realise it, watching awesome goals is a legitimate form of nourishment. Not in the dietary sense, obviously – goals have almost zero calorie content and, as such, if you try to sustain yourself on them you will probably die.

However, great strikes represent nourishment for the spirit, for the psyche, for the soul. They feed the inner self, the most sublime part of the individual. Let's munch down some existential nutrition, then, and watch the best goals of the past week.

Do you remember – in a time before David Moyes, Louis van Gaal and Marouane Fellaini – when Manchester United used to win the Premier League title on a regular basis? That must have been nice for the fans, basking in the glory of all that shiny silverware and success.

That's all over now, obviously. United aren't going to win the title this year, or next year, or any year in which Van Gaal is allowed to impose his special brand of managerial tedium on Old Trafford. Still, this goal should at least stop supporters from sinking into total despair.

United have just won the U21 Premier League, their victory confirmed by this sublime strike from Guillermo Varela. Playing in his side's match up with Tottenham U21s, with the scores level going into the final minute, the young right-back charged down a rebound just outside the opposition box before thumping a magnificent half-volley in off the post.

We remember when Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes and Cristiano Ronaldo used to do stuff like that in the actual Premier League. Ah, good times.

Vasyl Grytsuk may sound like an all-powerful necromancer from a Raymond E. Feist novel, but he's actually a midfielder who plays for Ukrainian outfit FK Oleksandria. Nonetheless, with Oleksandria welcoming Shakhtar Donetsk to the KSK Nika Stadium for a cup match this Wednesday evening, Grytsuk decided to produce a moment of malevolent magic to stun his foes.

Chesting down a header roughly 25 yards from goal, he controlled the ball before skipping past his marker with a deft touch. Still well outside the box, with defenders converging on him from all sides, he looked as if he'd run out of options. This was a mere illusion, however.

Out of nowhere, he suddenly leathered a bending, left-footed shot into the top corner. Someone get Shakhtar some Vasyl-ene, because they just got burned.

This isn't the first time Carlos Tevez has featured in our Goal of the Week section and, God willing, it won't be the last.

Having spent the prime of his career at Man United, Man City and Juventus, Tevez returned to boyhood club Boca Juniors in the summer of 2015. He wanted to reward the team that gave him his senior debut, to pay them back for believing in his abilities.

He's certainly done that – not least with spectacular goals like this one.

In the later stages of Boca's Copa Libertadores victory over Deportivo Cali, having already scored once in the game, Tevez shaped up to take a free kick on the edge of the box. With a short pass to Nicolás Lodeiro, he teed himself up perfectly. He then whipped a sumptuous effort past the despairing dive of the goalkeeper. Cue the commentator making some frankly upsetting sex noises.