The 2016 Little League World Series is only a few days old, but already a powerhouse has emerged. East Seoul Little League, representatives of the Asia Pacific region, sit atop the international bracket with a 2-0 record after roasting the Caribbean and Canadian teams. They have yet to concede a run, and when one of them hits a home run, the whole damn team stunts on their opponent, Usain Bolt-style:
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One look at the list of their nicknames and it becomes readily apparent that these young Koreans have come to Williamsport to kick your ass and then hit up your older sister on Facebook.Some quick thoughts on this murderer's row:
- You'd like to see "Smart Smurf" batting leadoff. He sounds like the kind of guy who can work a count.
- "Son of the Wind" must be either the team's fastest player or a huge, plodding slugger. Nothing in between.
- It's "Flying Superman," bitches. Don't confuse him with that non-flying sissy Clark Kent from the CW drama Smallville.
- "Stone Buddha" implies a mix of strength and serenity, which is always useful on the baseball diamond. It also sounds like something from a Wu-Tang Name Generator.
- While I'm 99 percent certain the name "Big Boy" is a description of his physical size, part of me will always hold on to the belief that he named himself after Big Boi of Outkast fame. Truly, these kids play with the spirit of Stankonia in their hearts.