Vice Sports World News Roundup: September 25

Good morning, America. Welcome to the VICE Sports World News Roundup. Be sure to stop by daily for your morning headlines.

It's the 25th of September, 2015, and Sepp Blatter is still president of FIFA. Your regular rounder-upper, Brian Blickenstaff, will be back on Monday. I know, I'll miss you, too.

Not much happened yesterday, to be perfectly frank. This might as well be the rumor roundup. Neymar claims he had "talks" with Manchester United over the summer, but nothing came of it, obviously.

Fresh off the five-goal extravaganza, Robert Lewandowski's agent has whittled his vocabulary down to "Barcelona" and "Real Madrid" over and over until one of them buys his client.

SOURCES: THE FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION HIRES PEP GUARDIOLA TO BE THE ENGLAND MANAGER. Oh, sorry, that's the FA is WILLING to hire Pep Guardiola to be the England manager.

F1 rumors! Fernando Alonso may be thinking about leaving F1 so he can win some races elsewhere, or something.

Forbes came out with their top sports agents list, and Jorge Mendes is…not number one! He's number two, behind Scott Boras.

Brian usually does a photo of the day, but I'm not Brian, so here's your motivational Sepp Blatter quote of the day:

This is the greatest quote in the history of the world.