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Sports

Five Goals in Ten Minutes: Robert Lewandowski is Out of His Goddamned Mind!

Robert Lewandowski scored five goals in ten minutes today. Pretty good stretch of play.

Bayern Munich were down 1-0 heading into the second half against Wolfsburg and then Robert Lewandowski came in as a substitute to start the second and he is raining fire all over the place. He started off like a bum in his first five minutes on the field—he scored zero goals—but then he entered cheat code mode and scored five goals in, like, 10 minutes and the fifth one was absolute haymaker. Mario Götze hit the cross from the far sideline just inside the penalty area and Lewandowski met it with a scissor kick that had pure hatred for whatever materials they are making soccer balls out of these days.

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He smoked it so hard into the camera and microphone set up behind the net that they went crashing to the ground.

This came in the 60th minute and the four that preceded it came as follows:

  • 51st
  • 52nd
  • 55th
  • 57th

After the fifth, his manager Pep Guardiola could not believe what he was watching.

[FS1]