Was This Colts Fake Punt the Greatest Play in Sports? A VICE Sports Debate (Agreement)

The Colts tried a unique formation on 4th down.It didn't work. #NEvsIND http://t.co/Eh0HXpFV00
— NFL (@NFL) October 19, 2015

Sean:

Aaron, we are once again put in the enviable position of deciding whether something is the greatest ever. Today, this masterpiece of fuckery: The Colts fake punt against the Patriots on Sunday Night Football. Is it the greatest play in NFL history? Should it get the baritone, "Frozen tundra of Lambeau" voice on NFL Films? I say without a doubt it's the greatest, and I'm so happy it happened during the Super Bowl 50 season with the nice gold 50s on the field.

First, this play occurred during the Colts and Patriots first matchup since we all found out the Colts GM got the ball rolling on Deflategate with his vigilant stewards of the shield nonsense. Everyone expected the Pats to drop a huge number on the Colts, but Indy was actually in this game. And then…this. I hate the Pats with every fiber of my being, and this was just so fucking delicious.

Second, the call on TV. "What…the…heck?" Cris Collinsworth is good, but this may have been his best call ever. In real time, Collinsworth reduced his entire audience's state of mind to three staggered words as he watched Griff Whalen inexplicably snap the ball to Colt Anderson on a botched fake punt on fourth-and-three. They were outnumbered something like six to two on the line of scrimmage and for some reason Whalen still decided to snap it. Anderson was easily tackled for a loss. And it was a penalty for illegal formation anyway. Everything about it is so 2015 Colts, even sad sack head coach Chuck Pagano taking full responsibility for it. No shit, Chuck! You're the head coach. Why don't you guys put up a banner for being comically inept.

A penalty on New England there would have given the Colts a first down, so the play was obviously intended to cross up the Patriots and catch them either off guard, subbing in personnel, or getting them to jump offsides or something. It was confusing, to be sure, but when you and your buddy are standing in front of half a defense and the only thing between them and you is a snapped football…don't snap the football.

Instead, they snapped the ball which led to Collinsworth's bemusement as well as my third favorite part of this whole mess, Tony Corrente's tremendous call on the penalty, "illegal formation, the whole right side of the line was not on the line of scrimmage, offense." The whole right side! "Penalty on…six of you guys. Choose amongst yourselves, I don't really care."

Aaron:

I'd like to point out one more hilarious thing, if I may. The nine Colts players who shifted to the right maintained a punt formation, as if they might somehow punt the ball from there. But the ball, of course, remains at midfield, in plain sight of every single Patriots player. Who is this supposed to fool?! Did they really think the Patriots special teamers might be afraid of the Colts punting an imaginary football?

You are absolutely not going to get any argument from me that this is the greatest play in NFL history. In fact, in the play's immediate aftermath, I went even further:

That was the greatest play in the history of sports.
— Aaron W. Gordon (@A_W_Gordon) October 19, 2015

The particulars of this play—the inexplicability of the snap, the dumbfoundedness of the nine Colts off to the right that the ball was actually snapped, Colt Anderson's tragic futility once he received the snap—can be giggled over for eternity. Essentially, Pagano wanted the Patriots to do something illegal before his team was forced to do something illegal themselves, which is a ridiculous strategy since all the other team has to do is precisely nothing in order for this plan to fail.

To me, this play is so great because it symbolizes the myth of the Great Football Mind. Hundreds of men are on television every week to talk about football coaches like they're mad scientists, drawing up genius formations and plays like a gridiron Michelangelo. Football has an unhealthy tradition of glorifying coaches as much as, if not more than, the players, in the way that chessmasters are credited for the movement of their pieces. This is mostly horseshit. Most of a football team's success comes down to whether the players can actually execute a play, regardless of what it is.

Then, there's this play, where the coach put his players in an impossible situation. Sure, Griffdawg Whalen shouldn't have snapped the ball, but I'm glad he did. By doing so, he made sure his coach's dumbass play design would be immortalized in football lore. Most of the time, coaches are subtly idiots; starting the wrong quarterback, saying something stupid to the press, punting on 4th down. It's about time the rampant silliness of the genius football coach was laid bare for us all to mock.

So, Sean, do you agree with me that this is not only the greatest play in NFL history, but in the entire history of sports?

Sean:

You bring up a good point that I want to address before I get into whether this is the greatest play in the history of sports. "Griff Whalen." I mean, come on. This play had no chance.

OK, now concerning its place in history, I would have to say it is a close second to the time Pheidippides ran from Marathon to Athens to carry the news of Greek victory before collapsing and dying.