So, the Clippers unveiled a new mascot at home against the Nets last night during a halftime celebration and, well, his name is Chuck. He is some kind of superhero bird that, judging by the helmet and kneepads, is a less cool version of Poochie, who is very concerned with safety. He also looks like one of the dimwitted vultures who gets foiled by Disney's Robin Hood. Here is an action shot:
That's not all the Clippers did last night, not by a long shot. Clippers owner Steve Ballmer took the floor and was rewarded for his years of service as de facto mascot with a dunk. Obviously he needed a little help—he's an old white guy—so they got a trampoline and let Ballmer do his thing. He was super, super jacked up.
It may look like a pretty boring dunk, especially for a trampoline-assisted one, but you really should watch all the angles of this thing, otherwise you might miss this, the face of determination and success:
Imagine this face coming at you for any reason. That's much scarier than anything Chuck can do for you, Clips. Aside from the thrill of watching Steve Ballmer nearly eat it on a trampoline—look how close he gets to the metal frame—the fans were all rewarded with a pair of red Chuck Taylors, because Chuck wears red Chuck Taylors.
ONE EMAIL. ONE STORY. EVERY WEEK. SIGN UP FOR THE VICE NEWSLETTER.
By signing up, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy & to receive electronic communications from Vice Media Group, which may include marketing promotions, advertisements and sponsored content.
Imagine this face coming at you for any reason. That's much scarier than anything Chuck can do for you, Clips. Aside from the thrill of watching Steve Ballmer nearly eat it on a trampoline—look how close he gets to the metal frame—the fans were all rewarded with a pair of red Chuck Taylors, because Chuck wears red Chuck Taylors.