Mourning the Loss of New Zealand’s Greatest Nineties Jingles

I never watch ads anymore. Without question, each and every day, I do what I have to do to avoid them. When it comes to TV ad breaks, you'll catch me on my phone. If I'm on YouTube, you best believe I'm holding out for the skip button. If it's one of those excruciatingly long adverts on news sites that you can't bypass, I hit mute and switch tabs until I'm good to go.

It hasn't always been this way, of course. If you grew up in New Zealand in the 1990s or early-2000s, you would likely have found yourself in front of the TV taking it all in, ad breaks included. Which also means you'll know a jingle or two when you hear them. Like nursery rhymes, they'll stick with you forever in the most annoying way possible. The only difference is that our most classic ad jingles have always represented something a little different. Like gumboots or pavlova, they became a staple of New Zealand culture and Kiwiana. They're kitschy, but you can't deny that they're iconic.

They also live on in mysterious ways. This week, Jingles - The Musical launches at the Basement Theatre in Auckland. It's a reinterpretation of about 20 local ad jingles based around a tried-and-true tale of a small-town girl that heads to the city to try and make it big. Writer and director Dean Hewison said he came up with idea because, like everyone else, those songs are something he'll never forget, even if they're now a thing of the past.

But what exactly makes for a good jingle? We asked Dean to run through some of the most unforgettable TV ads New Zealand has ever seen to find out what made them work and what's at the heart of the best of them.

McDonald's - Kiwiburger Theme

A true classic, if ever there was one. Written by Murray Grindlay, the godfather of New Zealand jingles, the Kiwiburger theme defined what New Zealanders (the ones that could stomach beetroot, at least) were best known for at the time. The ad capitalised on all things Kiwiana, from buzzy bees to silver ferns to Swaandris, without missing a step. Not so fun fact: Grindlay began his career in jingle writing after a gig he once played ended with a couple of gang members rushing the stage and smashing him in the face with a shot glass. After a trip to the emergency room at Auckland Hospital, he decided to concentrate his talents on writing.

Dean's verdict: "I think that it's one of the greatest jingles that we've ever produced in this country. It defines a generation of jingles in the same way that the Chesdale Cheese ads defined the generation before them. It's that iconic." 10/10

Skyline Garages - Gotta Get A Skyline

Skyline Garage's mid-2000s jingle is right up there with Novus' 'Show Us Your Crack' ad (written by Ben Boyce of Jono & Ben fame). The line Gotta get a garage, gotta get a gottage, gotta get a Skyline lives on as one of the country's most unforgettable hooks, but it still had a way to go to be able to compete with the jingle heavyweights that preceded it. Also, for those stuck wondering, it turns out that a "gottage" is supposed to be a cross between a cottage and a garage–in other words, a "man cave".

Dean's verdict: "It's a very memorable kind of tune, but it doesn't really do much more than that for me". 5/10

McDonald's - Make It Click

The 'Make It Click' campaign came off looking more like an acid trip or something Roald Dahl would cook up, rather than any kind of public service announcement. Seriously: it's a duet between a terrifying (even moreso now) Ronald McDonald and his talking car, with a special guest appearance from the none other than the cops. Saying that, when it comes to road safety, 'Make It Click' is in many ways the spiritual forefather of 'Ghost Chips'. It's also irritatingly catchy.

Dean's verdict: "Something that's genius about it, from a branding point of view, is that they're not trying to sell burgers. In terms of the jingle itself, it's just so easy to learn, and having kids' voices encourages kids to learn it and sing it themselves as well. It certainly hits the nostalgia button for a lot of people." 7.5/10

Rainbow's End - Take Me Back To The Rainbow

While they were best known for their part in the Rainbow's End theme, vocal quartet Purest Form would also go onto land in the New Zealand Top 40 with four different songs and take out the Single of the Year award in 1995 for their cover of 'Message To My Girl' by Split Enz. 'Take Me Back To The Rainbow' took note from the type of R&B hitmakers that would dominate much of the '90s, but it was the way it connected with a generation of young New Zealanders that saw it go down as one of the best ad jingles to ever come out of the country. Long live the log flume.

Dean's verdict: "It's a super original jingle. It was in the height of the Boyz II Men thing, so it was a brave choice for an ad company. I think they nailed it. It really does hit all those sorts of things that Boyz II Men and early '90s R&B did. It had the same harmonies and the same memorability as one of those best songs." 10/10

Great Crunchie Train Robbery - Cadbury Crunchie

As one of New Zealand's longest running ads, the Cadbury Crunchie jingle took footage from old Westerns and combined it with appearances from some big names in the local acting scene at the time. It was another gem from the mind of Murray Grindlay and word went around that director Tony Williams went over budget on the clip and ended up being given a lawnmower as his fee.

Dean's verdict: "It's so iconic for New Zealanders that it makes us think that we invented the Crunchie bar. But we didn't - the Crunchie bar was made in the UK. I bet if you asked anyone around the streets, most people would think Crunchie was a Kiwi bar." 11/10