I Don't Even Know What He's Doing, But It's Definitely Sports

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Sports

I Don't Even Know What He's Doing, But It's Definitely Sports

A man jumps and flips and spins on a trampoline and throws a frisbee into a garbage can or something. A man plays sports.

There are some activities that we know are sports because they have existed for many years as sports, but there are others we are just now learning and concocting and a test is needed to determine whether a specific activity, like trampoline-jumping-frisbee-throwing-into-a-garbage-can-or-whatever, is a sport. We have devised such an approach for determining whether a thing is sports, and it's a two-pronged test. When we consider what is and what is not a sport, we invariably do this calculus either subconsciously or right out in the open, like this. The test is simple, and foolproof.

First, does the activity in question involve movement of any kind. This is not a test of degree. There are no qualifications, such as length of movement, distance covered, etc. Does the activity in question involve movement. If so, we can move on to the second prong of our two-pronged test. If there is no movement, there is no sports.

The second prong is also simple, and also not one of degree. Is this activity, which we have previously determined is one that involves movement, an activity which you personally cannot do? If you cannot, the activity is a sport.

As mentioned above, and just how all thumbs are fingers but not all fingers thumbs, this is not an exclusive test. That you can make a basket does not mean basketball is not a sport. We are in unchartered waters now, with the question of what is a sport covering activities we never dreamed possible, like jumping on a trampoline, flipping on a trampoline and, twisting in the air before throwing a frisbee into a specific target.

This is sports.