Andres D'Alessandro Gets Tattoo of Himself on His Stomach

Jez from Peep Show is a fictional character. He's made up. And because he's made up he can do whatever bizarre shit the show's writers want, like eat a dog or pleasure himself to a £20 note.

In series one Jez pondered getting a tattoo of his own face on his chest while dancing topless to his inimitable brand of music.

But even Jez - the fictional character who has no constraints on the weird shit he can do - did not go through with this ridiculous idea. Because getting a tattoo of yourself anywhere on your body is an act of such spectacular narcism that it would make Kayne West blush himself to death.

So Jez from Peep Show and Kanye would think better of it. But we've found someone who wouldn't: former Portsmouth midfielder Andrés D'Alessandro.

The diminutive Argentine midfielder, who now plays for Internacional in Brazil, has had his likeness and corporate logo tattooed on to his own stomach. It must go down as the height of bizarre footballer inkings: his own grinning face sat just above his navel. He looks down and there he is, gazing up in post-goal-scoring ecstasy.

There are many occasions when it might feel a touch strange for a normal person to gaze south and see themselves forever etched on their own skin. While relieving one's self, for example, it might seem creepy. Or in the throes of passion, I reckon it'd be pretty weird to catch your own eye. A bit like looking at a photo of yourself during sex, which is quite possibly something that Andrés D'Alessandro does.

Then again, he's also got his gran tattooed on the left side of his chest, which must be even stranger. Even Jez from Peep Show didn't contemplate that.