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Sports

Curt Schilling Vows to Run for President Because the Water's Fine

You would think that a man could get disqualified for doing such horrible things, but look at where we are now.
His Constitution Twitter profile pic is how you know he's for real.

Rich, racist, LGBT-phobic, megalomaniacal non-politicians have declared that they'll run for president before—but we know better than to laugh them off now, right? Well, former Boston Red Sox pitcher and current bigoted Trump supporter Curt Schilling wants to put his name in the hat, presumably because the water is fine.

In a thread on his Facebook page—where he feels most comfortable saying horrific things—Schilling said that he's not running for election this year. (Whew!) But he followed up by saying eight years feels like just about the right time to strike—that is, barring what he believes to be the unlikely event of a Clinton victory, in which case he'll run in four years. (Oh, dear, sweet mother of Moses.)

This is coming from a man who couldn't even hold office at ESPN after making four-hour Twitter arguments against evolution, reposting memes of factually inaccurate comparisons between Muslims and Nazis and death-threatening transphobic images, along with owning a truckload of Nazi paraphernalia.

You would think that a man could get disqualified for doing such horrible things, but look at where we are now. Schilling 2024.