Why the NHL Playoffs Are Like a Game of Thrones Episode

A couple years ago, while in the employ of another website, myself and another writer were pitched a preseason story idea by an editor. The premise was one of us would argue why the Chicago Blackhawks and Los Angeles Kings were the only true Cup contenders and the other would make a case for choosing the remaining field.

After a few emails back and forth, we had to scrap the idea because neither of us wanted to take the field.

That's what hockey had become, more or less, since the Blackhawks and Kings began their stranglehold on championships in 2010. Especially from 2013-15, the NHL was like a reboot or a remake or a prequel that was just a remake set in the past—it was the same story over and over and, yeah, some of the characters were different but the basic plot lines and story arcs played out like they always had with the same ending. And you walked away feeling like you paid good money to see a thing you had already seen.

Welcome to the 2016 Stanley Cup playoffs, where after one round, we are guaranteed fresh storylines and new heroes. And this is a good thing for the NHL. Much like John Scott at the All-Star Game, it happened completely by accident and is probably something the league doesn't like.

Would the NHL prefer a couple Canadian franchises in the second round? Of course. Anyone who thinks the NHL somehow prefers three California teams and two Florida teams over zero Canadian teams is insane, but the rest of the playoffs will allow the league to unwittingly market new players and new teams and not the same five teams and players they've been ramming down our throats this decade.

This is setting up to be a transition year with new teams and players pushing past the old ones. This can be fun. There are fun players and teams that don't get national exposure but will now by default.

Meet the Islanders. They are now the New York area's best and only remaining postseason team.

John Tavares is at worst one of the ten best players in the league and you've probably only heard his name mentioned in passing over the past few years. Only in the NHL can you have a player this talented in the New York market and still completely ignore him. Tavares is basically Anthony Michael Hall in those 1980s movies where he likes the girl but the girl ignores him only instead of Anthony Michael Hall he's John freaking Tavares, so why are you ignoring him?

Since 2012, the Rangers have ruled New York but they are now an aging, hollowed out husk of a team that will have to rework the roster in a major way this summer to remain competitive. The Islanders aren't necessarily on the cusp of three Cups in six years but they will be the team to beat in New York for the next few years and the one on your television more frequently in April and May.

The other important thing to note about the Islanders as they venture into the second round for the first time since 1993—Jack Capuano's hair will begin getting the coverage it deserves. Of the remaining eight coaches, Capuano has the only elite coif behind the bench. Sure, he feels like Steve Bernier gives the team a better chance to win than Ryan Strome, but you can't argue with perfect hair.

When the Blackhawks and Kings were running the league, that meant other teams were getting trampled along the way. No one took more beatings at the hands of those teams than the Sharks and Blues, and that was getting extremely boring over the years.

Yet like Anthony Michael Hall in a movie where he gets consistently bullied before sticking up for himself, the Sharks and Blues finally hit back and beat down their bullies in the first round. This doesn't mean the Blackhawks and Kings are gone forever but they are gone now and in no way guaranteed to push around the Sharks and Blues like they did in recent years.

There's a chance that the Blues and Sharks could meet in the conference final, which finally answers the age-old question, "What if Anthony Michael Hall fought Anthony Michael Hall?"

That's an age-old question, right?

Fans will get to know bearded wonders Joe Thornton and Brent Burns; children will marvel at the skill and speed of Vladimir Tarasenko, unless coach Ken Hitchcock continues his maddening trend of limiting his ice time, and hopefully we will all be treated to the Sharks' sweet teal sweaters at some point.

And maybe, just maybe, Thornton will have a four-goal game and… you know.

The Dallas Stars are the most fun team in the league. You may think this is opinion and not fact but no—this is a fact.

They can wipe out or give up a three-goal lead in the blink of an eye. Tyler Seguin, Jamie Benn, Jason Spezza and Patrick Sharp are magic and Benn led all scorers with ten points in the first round. They bring an elite level of skill that not even the NHL can ignore, as the Stars will be playing an outdoor game in 2017 against… wait… for real? The league's best offensive team with burgeoning young talent still can't get an outdoor game?

Much like Scott accidentally getting to the All-Star Game against the NHL's wishes, it looks like the world will get to feast its eyes on the Stars even though the NHL would rather you watch the Blackhawks play the Blackhawks in an outdoor game right now.

I'm not sure how Anthony Michael Hall applies to the Stars.

Wait? Really? The two most overly saturated athletes in the NHL today is a new thing? Isn't this the equivalent of a third Spider-Man franchise when we all said the third Tobey Maguire movie with Topher Grace was enough? How is any of this new and fresh?

Because no matter what happens in the second round, one of them will be playing for a trip to the Stanley Cup Final.

Ovechkin has never played in a conference final while Crosby has appeared in only one since 2009, when the Bruins demolished the Penguins in four games in 2013. And while some of us are dying for more Thornton or Burns or Tarasenko or Tavares, the league feels it has a winning formula with Anthony Michael Hall getting beat up and not getting girls every year.

Ovechkin or Crosby in a conference final helps the league stomach the new stories a little easier. And let's be honest—they are the two best players in the league and the potential to have one taking on a team from New York, even if it's not the Rangers, is appealing to all of us.

For years, the playoffs were the predictable movie. After 20 minutes, you knew the stars and exactly how it would end, give or take an explosion or plot twist.

In 2016, the playoffs are a legit episode of Game of Thrones. You don't know who will live or die from scene to scene, there are men with unsightly beards wielding weapons, you're not entirely familiar with everyone's names but you're immensely enjoying the uncertainty of everything.

The Islanders could beat the Lightning or Anthony Michael Hall could murder Jaime Lannister and we'd all be better for it.