Actually, the Yankees Hair Policy is Good

Good morning, @Yankees fans. The Yankees barbershop is open for business…first customer, @clintfrazier. pic.twitter.com/9dM8r5bVwa
— Yankees PR Dept. (@YankeesPR) March 10, 2017

One of the big questions heading into the spring at Yankees camp was what was going to happen with newly acquired Clint Frazier's mop of red hair. The Yankees have a longstanding policy that requires a closely shorn head of hair, and Frazier, like Johnny Damon before him, ran afoul of this policy. On Friday, we got our answer. The Yankees chopped his locks off.

It could be argued that this an outdated, silly, and overbearing policy. That has been argued, actually, and it is unquestionably a fair argument. But consider this:

Consider Jayson Werth. In late July. In Washington D.C. Consider running around the bases, or the outfield, or just sitting in the dugout with this fucking mop top following you around everywhere you go. Consider wiping your brow and moving your hand down your face only to find a goddamned piece of shrubbery stuck to it. You could not pay me to play an inning of baseball in the steamy-ass summer with all that hair. (Well, you could not, but Mike Rizzo could, I've seen the salaries, I'm not stupid—Mike, give me a call, I'm a good clubhouse guy.) I am sweating just looking at Jayson Werth, and it is literally snowing outside right now.

I know this is not the reason for the Yankees hair policy—and I know Werth voluntarily grooms himself like a psychopath—but if the unintended by-product is that people don't have to agonize on behalf of some hippie sweating his way around the bases, I'm all for it.