The Premier League Awards: Caulker, Ramsey & Shelvey

This article originally appeared on VICE Sports UK.

Player of the Week felt a bit 2015, so we've mixed it up to help spread the love. From here on in we'll be dishing out multiple awards, largely because we can. Who says Steven Caulker becoming the new Ole Gunnar Solskjær is any less or more an achievement than Jonjo Shelvey joining Newcastle and becoming Xabi Alonso? More a celebration of the week in football than just hero worshipping one individual, here's your new-look column – with added variety.

As he came through the ranks at Tottenham, the whispers of a 'new Ledley King' started to gather pace the closer Steven Caulker got to the first team. A fairly impressive loan spell at Swansea earned him some rave reviews and game time at his parent club, and fans initially liked what they saw. He was the right build, from the right area, and was comfortable enough on the ball to pull off a passable King impression, but he never came close to filling those particular shoes. After impressing in fits and starts under André Villas-Boas, it came as something of a surprise when his sale to Cardiff was announced for around £10m, but it didn't take long for disappointed fans to change their minds.

An ever-present for Cardiff in a horrific defensive unit that was ultimately relegated, he moved again that summer, with Queens Park Rangers providing a route back to London on a long-term contract. In almost an identical season to the one he had in the Welsh capital, the now seemingly cursed Caulker was again relegated, but managed to avoid Championship football by securing a loan move to Southampton, who didn't appear to have been paying any attention to him the past couple of years. Having gone from 'the next Ledley King' to 'the new Titus Bramble' in under two seasons, few would have predicted that Jürgen Klopp might come calling after Caulker spent minimal time playing for the Saints.

Only two matches into his time with Liverpool, he's managed to come on as a late substitute twice, but never in his recognised position. Presumably having seen him in training and given up on him as a central-defender, Klopp has twice introduced Caulker as his Hail Mary option when trailing in the final exchanges, throwing him up front in a move reminiscent of that time Stuart Pearce used David James as a striker. In fairness, in the game away against Arsenal his introduction did coincide with Liverpool equalising late on, but the trick wasn't repeated this time out against Manchester United. It's only been two games, but if this continues – if Caulker never actually does a second's worth of defending for Liverpool but comes on as a striker in every match they're trying to save – this could go down as the greatest loan signing of all time.

Stoke City fans hate Aaron Ramsey because he once had the nerve to break his leg in an almost career-ending collision with Ryan Shawcross, then didn't have the good grace to apologise to the Potters' skipper for getting in his way in the first place. He is now booed whenever he touches the ball at the Britannia, the fans sing songs about his apparent limp from having severely snapped his limb, and apparently he deserves every second of it. The rational behind the hate – according to the fans themselves – is that Ramsey has made a mountain of a molehill, failed to acknowledge Shawcross, and shouldn't celebrate scoring against Stoke by goading the same people who routinely celebrate his broken bones.

You probably think we're taking the piss if you haven't heard about this before, so there's no point in us trying to explain any further – that said, here's the message board of Stoke City fanzine The Oatcake, and a thread from 2013 called: 'Ramsey – Classless Prick'.

Swansea are slap bang in the middle of a relegation battle, so getting rid of Jonjo Shelvey to a direct rival seems like an odd move, doesn't it? You know what he's going to give you: lots of effort, a few bad tackles, and some technically proficient passing and shooting. In short, he's like a budget Jordan Henderson, which is probably why Liverpool got rid of him in the first place.

This weekend though, making his debut for Newcastle after his £12m move, he more closely resembled Xabi Alonso or Sergio Busquets, sitting and anchoring the Magpies' midfield, dictating the pace of the game and spraying about penetrative passes for fun. Winning took Newcastle above Swansea and, given his comments about his move being a loss for the Swans, it's safe to say spiting his former employers was more than enough of a motivational tool. Whether or not it stays that way, however, is what will be most interesting to see.

@bainsxiii