Images via Twitter/@akaiser
Three Stars of Comedy
The second star: McBackup – NHL players are a mature bunch.
The first star: Joe Thornton and Brent Burns are a WWE tag-team now – I somehow missed all of this as it was starting last week, but the feud has continued.
Advertisement
The challenge was accepted on Twitter, which I'm pretty sure is a legally binding contract.
I'm not sure when the match is happening, but I assume it will be on pay-per-view. No spoilers here, but I think we all know which heel is doing the dastardly run in behind the referee's back.
Outrage of the Week
Advertisement
Advertisement
Obscure Former Player of the Week
Advertisement
Be It Resolved
Advertisement
Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown
- Yeah, this makes even less damn sense than the Jeff Norton thing.
- As best I can tell, you're enjoying the song "Wir Steh'n Auf Eishockey," which appears to be a tribute to German hockey team Mannheimer ERC, or "MERC." According to their web site, they're "the oldest and most successful ice hockey club in Mannheim." You'll note that they do not say anything about being successful musical influences.
- You can tell the song is about hockey, because they're singing in front of half-finished drawings of hockey players. Also, you know it's winter because there are snowflakes hanging from the ceiling. Come to think of it, this performance may have been where the NHL got the idea for outdoor games.
- Our band is made up of a singer, a drummer, a keyboardist, and two guitarists even though 90 percent of the song appears to have no guitars. Tag yourself. I think I'm cool keyboard guy, but in reality I'm totally the drummer.
- By the way, you'll note that the four playing instruments are all standing on top of colorful platforms. But there's a fifth, empty platform between keyboards and drums, and now I really want to know who else was supposed to show up for this video shoot and bailed at the last minute. Tambourine? Saxophone? Guy patiently waiting to perform a harmonica solo? The mind boggles.
- I got very excited when the first line of the song is "We are the champions," because I thought the whole thing would be in English and it would all start to make some sense to me. Nope!
- The chorus appears to be "MERC, MERC. Wir steh'n auf Eishockey," which Google Translate tells me means "We love ice hockey," and not the lyric I was worried about, "Our lead singer is a time-traveling Frederik Andersen for some reason."
- Check out keyboard guy going one-handed. Dude is the Peter Forsberg of 80s synthesizers.
- Do you think when the band assembled before the shoot, they were all like "Guys, we agreed we were all wearing black and white outfits, it's going to be our thing" and the one guitarist was like "Well this is my favorite green vest so screw you guys"? Me neither, no idea why I brought it up.
- Meanwhile, the lead singer is trying to disprove the theory that you can't dance without either one of your feet moving off the floor. This is Jürgen Thomas, who was apparently vaguely famous at one point but is not anymore. He doesn't even have a Wikipedia page; the German site has two entries for Jürgen Thomas, but neither is a singer. Instead, one is a "Flugzeugkonstrukteur," and the other is a "Skispringer und Skisprungfunktionär." Have I mentioned that German is a way better language than English? It's totally is.
- [Turns earnestly towards camera.] If you'd like to learn more about Jürgen Thomas, please enjoy this clip of him after he was abandoned by his backup band and forced to sing sadly in his pajamas while shivering in a foggy studio.
- Meanwhile, we find out that the ice hockey song doesn't have an ending. They just kind of fade out when some dude walks out and interrupts them. It momentarily seems like he might be ready to arrest them all for impersonating a rock band, but no such luck. Instead, we get a minute of banter in which the only words I can make out are "Ice hockey fans," so I'm guessing the question was "Who has been the most insulted by your terrible song?"
- The host finally gets ready to wrap up the segment, at which point our Jürgen begins to just wander off. This might be my favorite moment in the entire clip. The host has to reach out and physically grab him to keep him from walking into the camera like he's Fred Armisen playing David Paterson. That's solid situational awareness from the host.
- And that's our clip. According to this site, this song was released as a single in 1988. That's not only the same year as Jeff Norton's Olympics appearance, it's also the year that gave us Second Row Guy. This means something. Everyone please break into discussion groups to figure out what.