David Denson, a prospect with Milwaukee's rookie affiliate in Helena, Montana, recently revealed to his teammates that he is gay. Yesterday, in an interview with the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, he made the announcement public and became the first active, MLB-affiliated player to come out. Denson, a power-hitting first baseman, made the decision to come out to the team after one of his teammates "jokingly referred to him using a derogatory term for a gay male." He told the teammate that he better be careful with his words, because you never know who you might be offending.Brewers statement on Minor League player David Denson: pic.twitter.com/lot6Zq4s2L
— Milwaukee Brewers (@Brewers) August 16, 2015
After that mini-announcement, Denson felt like he still needed to publicly embrace himself and, with the help of MLB's Ambassador of Inclusion Billy Bean, he set up and interview with the Journal-Sentinel's Tom Haudricourt. The story is worth your time, if only to get an idea of the kind of mental anguish living a secret life can cause.Denson felt his play was suffering from constantly hiding parts of himself, or feeling like he couldn't feel at ease because he always had to keep up appearances. Denson recalled his time in spring training this year, when he like he was beginning to spiral out of control, and sought counseling from a mental health professional provided by the team. After consulting, Denson made the decision to come out to Brewers officials to avoid the risk of "a further downward spiral."Before he knew it, Denson was making the emotional announcement he yearned to share, and the group around him expanded to the point that he soon was speaking to most of the team. Much to Denson's relief, when the conversation ended he was greeted with outward support and understanding instead of condemnation. "Talking with my teammates, they gave me the confidence I needed, coming out to them," recalled Denson. "They said, 'You're still our teammate. You're still our brother. We kind of had an idea, but your sexuality has nothing to do with your ability. You're still a ballplayer at the end of the day. We don't treat you any different. We've got your back.'
He met with farm director Reid Nichols, Wisconsin Timber Rattlers manager Matt Erickson, and hitting coordinator Jeremy Reed and they told him everything he needed to hear. They were only concerned with his professional baseball career and Nichols told him "My goal for you, as well as anybody else in the organization, is to get you to the big leagues."This is all pretty great; from the front office to the clubhouse, he's been accepted as the baseball player he wants to be seen as and can just go about his business without being afraid that someone would find out his secret. "I'm excited to see where it goes from here, now that I don't have that wall holding me back anymore."[Journal-Sentinel]"It became a depression level," he revealed. "I wasn't being myself. It was visible in my body language. I didn't know if I should still stay in the sport."
…
"I was shaking and crying, and just very scared," recalled Denson. "I didn't know if it would go good or bad, or if they'd look at me any different.